Divorce Advice: 3 Tips From Psychology Experts

When it comes to divorce advice, it seems like everyone has some to offer – but sometimes, even when people have the best intentions, it’s just not good advice.

Although your friends and family want only the best for you, it’s important to remember that during divorce, the only legal advice you should listen to comes from your Stockton divorce lawyer. Your attorney is familiar with California divorce laws and how they pertain to your case… and how the legal system works when two parties dissolve a marriage.

Mental health advice from friends and family can be tremendously helpful, though, as long as you take it with a grain of salt. If you feel like you need more help than your support network can provide, there’s nothing wrong with finding a counselor or therapist who specializes in divorce. For many people, advice from experts in psychology is the best kind they’ll ever get – and sometimes that advice stays relevant long after your divorce is final.

Divorce Advice From Psychology Experts: 3 Tips to Help You Through This Difficult Time

Every divorce is different, and what works for one person may have the opposite effect for another. However, these three pieces of divorce advice generally apply across the board.

#1: Get Divorce Advice From Someone Who’s Qualified to Give It

“Individual counseling, psychotherapy, and life-coaching can help you achieve optimal life balance, finding new and effective ways to deal with the effects stress causes on your life,” says Dr. Tom Maples of the Stockton Therapy Network.

Stress has many side effects, and it’s been linked to depression, heart attacks, and a multitude of other health conditions. It’s in your best interest to find new ways to cope with the stress of divorce – and there’s nothing wrong with reaching out for professional help when you need it.

#2: Understand That Emotional Divorce is a Process

Even after the judge signs your divorce decree, ending the legal process, you may still be in the throes of an emotional divorce.

“An emotional divorce is best viewed as a process that occurs minimally over several years and maximally over the course of a lifetime. Typically, the divorce process begins several years before the actual date of separation, when one of the spouses begins to experience a predictable set of feelings, which may include disillusionment, dissatisfaction, anxiety, and alienation,” says Donald T. Saposnek, Ph.D.

Once your divorce is over, you’re in a stage that involves finding your equilibrium again – but you can’t rush it.

“Of course, the feelings during this stage are not always positive. Even if the divorce is successful, negative feelings may still surface from time to time,” says Saposnek.

The key is to let yourself experience the negative feelings and process them so you can move on. Eventually, you’ll rebound completely… but it takes time.

#3: Try Not to Think of Divorce As a Battle You Can “Win”

According to the American Psychological Association, divorce mediation may be the best choice you could make.

“Try not to think of the breakup as a battle. Divorce mediation is often a good alternative to courtroom proceedings. Trying to work things out yourself can be frustrating and self-defeating as the problems that contributed to your divorce are likely to re-emerge during divorce negotiations. Research shows that mediation can be beneficial for emotional satisfaction, spousal relationships and children’s needs,” says the APA’s website.

Do You Need Divorce Advice From a Stockton Family Law Attorney?

If you need legal advice, there’s no substitute for working directly with a divorce attorney.

We can help.

Call us at 209-910-9865 to discuss child custody, child support, spousal support, or anything else related to your divorce. We’ll be able to evaluate your situation and develop a strategy that gets you (and your family) the best possible outcome.