Valentine’s Day is right around the corner – and if this is your first one post-divorce, you don’t have to dread it. Check out this list of 17 fun-and-fabulous things you can do to keep yourself busy, whether you’re flying solo or you’re spending the day with your children.
Valentine’s Day After Divorce: 17 Things to Do When You’re Flying Solo (or With Kids)
Even if you’ve never really been big on Valentine’s Day, it can still be a tough holiday after a divorce. For many people, it’s a reminder that they’re single. Fortunately, there are plenty of things you can do in Stockton (or even at home) to have a fabulous day – and here are 17 of our favorite ideas:
Have a dinner date with your single friends
Learn a new recipe
Make crafts with your kids
Spoil someone (preferably yourself and your children)
Have a movie marathon with your kids
Get a massage
Take the kids to the Stockton Skate Park
Go to the Haggin Museum
Head to the Micke Grove Zoo
Hang out at Oak Grove Regional Park
Visit the Children’s Museum of Stockton
Stroll the Joan Darrah Promenade
Enjoy the World Peace Rose Garden at University Park
Visit the Stockton Cambodian Buddhist Temple (Wat Dhammararam)
Take your pups to the Barkleyville Dog Park
Curl up with your favorite book
Give yourself a self-guided walking tour of Stockton
Here are more details on each so you can plan your day.
#1. Have a dinner date with your single friends
If you’ve got single friends who are flying solo, have them over – you don’t have to stay home alone if you don’t want to. Have everyone bring a dish to pass so you don’t have to plan a big to-do.
#2. Learn a new recipe
Even if you’re not having anyone over, head to the supermarket and pick up all the ingredients for a new recipe you’ve been meaning to try. And if you’re not much of a cook, that’s okay – roll the dice and pick an online recipe that looks like something you’d enjoy and give it a shot.
#3. Make crafts with your kids
If you’ll have your children on your first Valentine’s day after divorce, create your own special traditions. You can draw, cut, paste and paint your way to a fun day of crafting. (And you don’t have to have your children to do this, either. Pick up a canvas and some paint, a skein of yarn or any other crafting materials that you enjoy working with and start crafting!)
#4. Spoil someone (preferably yourself and your children)
Take the kids out for a special dinner and a movie. You all deserve it!
#5. Have a movie marathon with your kids
Turn on Disney+ or Netflix and let the movie marathon commence. (Our suggestion: Watch all the Avengers movies in order – but be prepared to carry your marathon over into the weekend.)
#6. Get a massage
Treat yourself to a relaxing massage or spa treatment for Valentine’s Day after divorce. It’s a great way to recharge.
#7. Take the kids to the Stockton Skate Park
The Stockton Skate Park is open from sunrise to sunset and features a moon, small bowl, offset steps, rail, half-pipe, EMB, star, fun box, block and piano. Bring helmets and pads for a whole day of outdoor family fun.
#8. Go to the Haggin Museum
The Haggin Museum is a great place to view some of Stockton’s fabulous – but little-known – history and serious collections of art by renowned artists such as Pierre-Auguste Renoir, Jean Beraud, Rosa Bonheur and more.
#9. Head to the Micke Grove Zoo
The Micke Grove Zoo, a charming 5-acre park housing reptiles, birds, mammals such as marmoset, lemur, bobcats and snow leopards, the Southern pudu and more, is a great place to spend an afternoon. They’re open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Valentine’s Day.
#10. Hang out at Oak Grove Regional Park
Oak Grove Regional Park is home to beautiful nature trails, the Oak Grove Nature Center and Oak Grove Lake, and plenty of playgrounds. There’s even an 18-hole disc golf course if you play, and pets are welcome.
#11. Visit the Children’s Museum of Stockton
The Children’s Museum of Stockton is a hands-on discovery center that’s open from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Valentine’s Day. There are more than 40 exhibits to enjoy, and there’s a toddler area, an outdoor playground and patio, and a spectacular reptile display.
#12. Stroll the Joan Darrah Promenade
Take a walk by the water (or ride your bike) at the Joan Darrah Promenade. You can get your steps in and enjoy views across the Delta, or watch the sun set from beneath the palms – and you’re moments from other great places to visit, like the Bob Hope Theatre and the Children’s Museum of Stockton.
#13. Enjoy the World Peace Rose Garden at University Park
The beautiful World Peace Rose Garden at University Park is home to more than 250 fragrant roses all year. You can write your own “Message of Peace” or read others created by local students and residents.
#14. Visit the Stockton Cambodian Buddhist Temple (Wat Dhammararam)
Wat Dhammararam is a beautiful, tranquil place filled with oversized sculptures (more than 90 of them, in fact) that celebrate the life and story of the Cambodian Buddha. You can download the visitor’s guide here.
#15. Take your pups to the Barkleyville Dog Park
The Barkleyville Dog Park is a great place for pups of all sizes. There are three separate areas – one for small dogs (under 20 pounds), one for larger dogs (over 20 pounds) and a separate play and agility course. There are benches for pet parents and always-full dog water fountains, and they’re open from an hour before sunrise to an hour after sunset.
#16. Curl up with your favorite book
If a book is more your speed than a movie marathon or a visit to a Buddhist temple, pick out an old favorite – or visit one of the Stockton Library’s eight branches to pick up something new. (There are eight San Joaquin County libraries, too.)
#17. Give yourself a self-guided walking tour of Stockton
If you’ve never taken a self-guided art and history tour of Stockton, Valentine’s Day is a great time. You’ll see everything from the old Emergency Hospital on North San Joaquin Street to the historic B&M Building on Bridge Place. Get a map and all the details here.
Are You Contemplating Divorce?
If you’re considering divorce, whether you’re still living with your spouse or you’re living apart, we can help you. Call us at (209) 546-6246 to set up a consultation so you can learn about your options – and get answers to all your questions – today.
Experts agree that divorce affects kids, but how, and can they rebound? Here’s what you need to know.
Effects of Divorce on Kids
If you’re like most parents going through a divorce, your primary concern is your kids’ health and happiness. You’re probably worried about whether your split will traumatize your kids – and you’re wondering if there’s anything you can do to make the process (and the aftermath) easier on them.
The good news is that while experts agree divorce affects children, they also agree that there are many things parents can do to help their children bounce back and become more resilient and emotionally strong than ever.
How Does Divorce Affect Kids?
The uncertainty about what’s going to happen next, the conflict they see between their parents, and the disparities in parenting styles after the divorce are most difficult for kids to cope with.
“Divorce introduces a massive change into the life of a boy or girl no matter what the age. Witnessing loss of love between parents, having parents break their marriage commitment, adjusting to going back and forth between two different households, and the daily absence of one parent while living with the other, all create a challenging new family circumstance in which to live,” says Dr. Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph.D.
Kids have to deal with:
Major lifestyle changes
Moving to a different home
Not seeing or spending time with both their parents at the same time
Adjusting to these changes can take a while. Many younger kids fantasize about their parents getting back together, and kids of all ages may blame themselves.
What kids really want is to “feel more connected in a family situation where a major disconnection has occurred,” says Dr. Pickhardt.
You can help, though, by establishing a sense of order and predictability. Know that most kids adjust well over time, and the vast majority have bounced back before two years have elapsed. Kids are resilient!
According to Scientific American, “Children fare better if parents can limit conflict associated with the divorce process or minimize the child’s exposure to it. Further, children who live in the custody of at least one well-functioning parent do better than those whose primary parent is doing poorly.”
To help mitigate the effects of divorce on kids, you can:
Support your children and provide loving, caring environments where kids can share their feelings
Answer questions in age-appropriate, honest ways
Provide emotional support in other areas of the kids’ lives
Stick to the same parenting styles during and after divorce
Provide middle-of-the-road rules; not too strict and not too lax
Make sure your children have social support from their peers
Your attorney will tell you not to involve your children in the ugly parts of your divorce – you can’t use them as messengers between you and your ex, and you can’t use them as miniature therapists. However, it is important that both parents communicate clearly with kids by answering questions honestly (in age-appropriate ways) and by reassuring children that even though they don’t love each other, they will always love the kids.
Are You a Parent Who Needs Information on Divorce?
Call us at 209-910-9865 to schedule your divorce case review. You’ll talk to an experienced Stockton divorce lawyer who can give you the advice you need to begin moving forward.
The good news is that although it can be difficult to deal with, children of divorce often bounce back while become more resilient and able to cope with life’s challenges than they were before. That’s particularly true if you’re committed to helping your teen — and using these five tips can keep your family is on the right path.
5 Ways to Help Your Teen Cope With Divorce
You and your soon-to-be ex-spouse can help teenagers cope with the struggles he or she is facing during your divorce. Even if you’ve gotten off to a rough start, it’s not too late to reel things back in and help your child as best you can. Here’s the breakdown:
Keep the peace between you and your spouse.
Don’t involve your children in your divorce.
Talk about (and look forward to) the future.
Help your teen determine his or her strengths.
Try to keep your teen’s life stable and predictable.
1. Keep the Peace to Help Your Teenager Cope With Divorce
Many experts suggest that children whose parents fight frequently (and in front of them) are better off when the two parents split up – and that’s because constant controversy causes a lot of stress, anxiety and other issues.
Teenagers find divorce that much harder when their parents are behaving poorly to each other, too.
That means you and your ex need to set aside your differences, even if only when you’re in front of your teens, so that you can soothe some of your child’s worries and minimize his or her stress. (It’s easier said than done, but it’s well worth it.)
2. Don’t Involve Your Children in Your Divorce
Teenagers are still getting to know themselves, and when parents ask them – or imply that they should – take sides, things become infinitely harder. Your kids need to feel free to spend quality time with either of you without your adult differences interfering in parent-child relationships (on either side).
If you’re struggling to come to terms with hurt you may have caused, or if you need to learn new strategies to help you cope with what you’re going through, you may benefit from talking to a counselor or therapist. The same is true for your children; depression in teens is a serious medical condition, but even if you don’t feel your teen is depressed or anxious in a medical sense, it can’t hurt to talk to an impartial third party.
3. Talk About (and Look Forward to) the Future
A lot of teens worry that their future relationships will be affected by their parents’ divorces, but many also worry about other plans – like college, visiting grandparents over the summer, and other activities that could be impacted by parents trimming down to single-income households.
Talk to your teen about his or her upcoming plans in a positive light. Make sure your child knows that you and your ex are willing to do what it takes to co-parent effectively, including making sure he or she gets a good education and is still able to have a quality family life.
4. Help Your Teen Determine His or Her Strengths
Some teenagers are better at coping with stress than others are, and that’s okay. Help your teen figure out his or her best coping mechanisms and have an “open-door” policy that lets your child know you’re always available to talk about his or her concerns.
Another way to help your teen focus on his or her strengths is to come up with better (or easier) methods of communication. Some kids shut down during conflict, while others dive right into the fray – but you want your child to learn how to effectively communicate through conflicts without picking up bad habits for the future. Experts suggest having a cool-down period before discussing major issues, teaching your teen that his or her concerns matter, or writing letters to parents to avoid face-to-face confrontation or emotional stresses.
5. Try to Keep Your Teen’s Life Stable and Predictable
Teenagers thrive on predictability. It’s how they know what to expect from you and your ex, and how trust is developed. By keeping your teen’s life as stable and predictable as possible, you’ll prevent a tremendous amount of stress and pressure.
Do You Need to Talk to a Stockton Divorce Attorney?
If you’re thinking about divorce, or if your spouse has already filed for a divorce, we can help you.
