Whether you’re simply thinking about ending your marriage or you’re ready to take action and get in touch with a Stockton divorce lawyer, you probably have more than a few concerns about how the process will play out—and whether you and your spouse will be able to reach fair agreements without causing too much collateral damage.

The fact is that you can have what’s known as a successful divorce. It’s not always an easy process, but the end result is that you and your spouse can both walk away feeling that it was fair and that you both won.

The secret?

Don’t look at divorce like a competition, a race, or something that you have to win.

Divorce is simply a way to end your marriage, and there aren’t supposed to be any “winners” or “losers” in the legal system.

How to Have a Successful Divorce

In order to have a successful divorce, you and your spouse have to be on the same page; you both have to look at it as a means to an end. If one spouse isn’t interested in collaborating and making the process as quick (and painless) as possible, it’s going to be extremely difficult to navigate the process.

How to Talk to Your Spouse About Having a Collaborative Divorce

Many people find that discussing collaborative divorce with a spouse is easier when it’s framed in terms of time or money. The simple fact is that when both spouses can agree on major points, their divorce will move faster and will cost less.

Finally, nobody knows your family like you do—or what will work best for them. You and your spouse are the most highly qualified when it comes to making decisions that will affect all of you; if you can’t agree, though, you’ll take those decisions out of your own hands and put them in the judge’s hands.

Should You Simply Give In to Your Spouse?

You don’t have to “give in” to your spouse’s demands in order to have a successful divorce. Instead, look at it as if you were negotiating a contract. Give-and-take is important in a successful divorce, so sit down with your attorney and determine what it is that you really want from your divorce. That way, your lawyer can help you negotiate your way through the process and make the best of the tough situation you’re in right now.

What if Your Spouse is Combative Instead of Cooperative?

Some people who begin the divorce process like they’re running toward combat eventually come around, but that’s not always the case.

If your spouse isn’t cooperative—or isn’t interested in participating in a collaborative divorce—you need tough representation in court. You need a lawyer who’s going to stand up for your rights and who isn’t afraid to speak up on your behalf.

Typically, the judge can tell when a spouse is trying to tilt the divorce’s outcome in his or her favor (or worse, trying to use the legal system for revenge). That’s not what the legal system is for, though, and the only purpose of our divorce courts is to dissolve marriages. Each judge is tasked with the heavy responsibility of ensuring that all Californians get a “fair shake” in court and that the legal system does justice to every citizen.

Do You Need to Talk to a Stockton Divorce Lawyer?

If you’re thinking about divorce and you have questions that an attorney can answer, if you’re ready to take the next step and file your paperwork, or if your spouse has already filed divorce paperwork, we can help you.

Call us at 209-910-9865 for a divorce case evaluation. You’ll talk to an experienced Stockton divorce lawyer who will answer your questions about child custody, child support, spousal support, or anything else that’s weighing on your mind. The sooner you call us, the sooner we’ll be able to begin developing the strategy that gets you and your family the best possible outcome.