If you’re divorcing your spouse, your attorney will tell you that it’s best if you two can reach agreements about child custody and property division on your own, without going to court and forcing the judge to decide.

But why is it better, and what happens if you just can’t agree with your soon-to-be ex-spouse?

Why You Should Try to Reach Agreements With Your Spouse

If it’s at all possible, your lawyer will advise you to reach agreements with your spouse on important matters for several reasons – not the least of which is your own well-being and mental health. Contentious divorces are tough on everyone involved, and they’re exceptionally stressful. You don’t need that; in fact, you need as little stress as possible if you’re going to make the best decisions for your post-divorce future.

There are other reasons, too. First, litigation (going to court and arguing things out there) is time-consuming and expensive. You’ll have to pay your attorney to go back-and-forth with your spouse’s attorney, and in the end, most people end up agreeing to something very similar to what they put out in the first place. You’ll also have to wait to get on the court’s calendar for hearings to hammer out your issues, which can cause your divorce to drag on for months (or more).

Arguing is hard on kids, too. If you have children, they need you to focus on them and their needs – and you can’t do that if you’re too busy focusing on “winning” in your divorce. Kids are very intuitive, and they know when there’s strife and stress between their parents. The longer your divorce drags on, the more difficult it may be on your children.

What if You Can’t Agree With Your Spouse?

If you and your spouse simply cannot reach agreements on the important issues, your Stockton divorce attorney may suggest that you work with a mediator. A mediator can help you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse find common ground on things like child custody and property division. Mediators are independent third parties whose only interest is to reach a fair and equitable agreement that both parties are reasonably satisfied with, so it’s not as if your mediator will take your side or your spouse’s side. The mediator’s side is fairness.

Mediation doesn’t work for every couple, though. In the event that mediation just isn’t right for you and your spouse (it requires you to both agree to work together toward a positive outcome), you may have to litigate in court. If it comes to that, your attorney will need information from you that supports your viewpoint. For example, if you feel you should have full legal and physical custody of your children, your attorney will ask you why you feel that way and why the judge should agree with you.

Do You Need to Talk to a Lawyer About Getting a Divorce in Stockton?

If you’re divorcing your spouse in Stockton or a nearby community, we can help you.

Call us at 209-910-9865 or get in touch with a Stockton divorce attorney online to schedule a consultation today. We’ll discuss your case, find out about your circumstances and start formulating a plan that gets you (and your children) the best possible outcome.