3 Tips to Help You De-Stress During Divorce

August 12, 2019December 7, 2019
by Angie

If you’re like most people going through divorce, you already know how stressful it is. In fact, it’s tough before you even file – so even if you’re still in the planning stages, you’re probably experiencing a fair amount of stress.

So what can you do to make it easier on yourself?

Use these three tips to help yourself de-stress during divorce so you can focus and make better decisions.

3 Tips to Help You De-Stress During Divorce

Every divorce is different, and some are more stressful than others are. You can use these three tips to decompress and help yourself stay a little more centered during the process:

Keep a journal.
Get more than enough exercise.
Talk to a therapist or counselor.

Let’s take a closer look at each of these.

#1. Keep a Journal.

Journaling is one of the most tried-and-true methods of decompressing during tough times. You don’t have to break out a quill pen and a leather-bound book to do it, either. You can create a private video journal using your phone or laptop, keep track of your thoughts on paper or digitally, or create a private blog that nobody sees but you.

A journal can do more than bust stress, too. It can help you create a record of events that could help your attorney. For example, if your ex was supposed to pick up your children and didn’t show up, you can put it in your journal – and when your lawyer needs a list of times and dates when things like that have happened, you have a source to refer back to.

The key is privacy, though. You don’t want to publicly share any information that could hurt your case or get in the way of what your lawyer is doing to preserve your rights during your divorce.

#2. Get More Than Enough Exercise.

Exercise is good for both your body and your mind, and during divorce, it can give you tremendous benefits that you really need. Because exercise releases chemicals in your brain that can help you think more clearly and make you happier, now’s the perfect time to start. If you haven’t been much for exercise in the past, you can always start small – short walks every morning or evening are a great way to clear your head and boost your spirits.

You should always talk to your doctor before you start an exercise program to make sure it’s the right one for you.

Related: Types of divorce

#3. Talk to a Therapist or Counselor.

Sometimes the best way to work through the inevitable stress that divorce brings is to talk to someone outside your circle – an impartial counselor or therapist. A therapist can teach you new coping strategies, listen while you vent, and ensure that you have someone to talk to when you really need someone to listen.

Remember, too, that even if you’re not under a tremendous amount of stress or pressure, talking to a counselor can only help – so it may be a good idea to schedule an appointment with someone just to open the lines of communication with someone you can trust. Kids can benefit from talking to a counselor or therapist, too, so you may want to consider getting them help, too.

Your attorney can help you find a divorce counselor or therapist if you don’t already know one.

Are You Considering Divorce?

If you’re thinking about divorce, or if you’re ready to file or your spouse has already filed, we can help you start moving forward.

Call us right away at (209) 546-6870 or get in touch with a Stockton divorce attorney online to schedule a consultation today.

Divorce

Dealing With Divorce: 7 Tips to Help You Through…

December 12, 2018January 17, 2019
by Angie

When you’re dealing with divorce, every day can be a battle – you just have so much going on. You’re still showing up at work and doing your job, you’re coming home and helping your children, and you’re trying to put together the pieces so you don’t feel like you’re losing your sanity. Your divorce attorney is there to help you with all the legal aspects of your split, but that’s only part of what you’re focused on.

Try these seven tips to get through your divorce with your sanity intact – they’ve been proven to help people dealing with divorce, and they could help you, too.

Dealing With Divorce: 7 Tips to Help You Through It

Dealing with divorce takes quite a bit of mental work. These seven tips can help you zero in on what’s bothering you and relieve a little bit of the stress you’re currently experiencing.

Give yourself permission to grieve
Find – and use – your support network
Take care of yourself physically
Get to know yourself again
Give arguments a hard pass
Get help when you need it
Let your lawyer worry about strategy

#1. Give yourself permission to grieve

It’s okay to grieve your divorce – everyone does. It’s a form of loss, which means your mind has to process it that way. It’s also okay to be angry, sad, upset or frustrated. Even if you keep it to yourself, you have to give yourself permission to feel the way you do. You’re going to be operating at less than maximum potential until you recognize and deal with your emotions.

#2. Find – and use – your support network

No man (or woman) is an island! Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on or an arm to lean on during divorce; that’s just the way it is. We’re wired that way, so find people who are supportive of what you’re going through and who let you talk about what’s bothering you. You don’t have to talk to people you know – you can check out divorce support groups or talk to a therapist who focuses on dealing with divorce, too.

#3. Take care of yourself physically

It’s easier to say “take care of yourself physically” than it is to do it, but here’s what you need to know: even a small amount of exercise – like walking from the back of the parking lot to the store or work – can have tremendous benefits. Try to eat well and get enough sleep. We know, that’s a tall order… but your body is what’s getting you through each day, so you have to take care of it – even when you don’t feel like it.

#4. Get to know yourself again

Taking a little time to explore your interests and reconnecting to things you used to enjoy without your spouse can work wonders for your well-being. Go tinker in the garage, crochet a scarf or read an entire book in one sitting – whatever works!

#5. Give arguments a hard pass

Arguing with your spouse is going to raise your stress levels through the roof, even if you know you don’t have to deal with his or her emotional fallout. If your ex starts to pick a fight, walk away. You hold the cards, and it’s your right to do so until he or she can treat you with the respect you deserve. (Your heart rate will thank you!)

#6. Get help when you need it

Sometimes being strong means asking for help. If you feel like you’re drowning in your emotions, or if you suspect that you’re suffering from depression, reach out to a professional right away. You don’t have to feel that way. You can get help in other ways, too, like asking a friend to watch the kids so you can have a good, solitary cry or calling on someone to help you fix the dishwasher. Don’t be afraid to ask for help – nobody can do everything alone.

#7. Let your lawyer worry about strategy

Thinking about your case into the wee hours of the morning isn’t doing much but costing you valuable sleep. Let your attorney worry about the strategy that gets you the best possible outcome – you just worry about your well-being and taking care of your kids.

Do You Need to Talk to a Lawyer Because You’re Dealing With Divorce?

If you’re dealing with divorce – whether you’re thinking about filing or your spouse has already filed – we can help.

We welcome the opportunity to answer your questions about divorce and issues such as custody, child support, spousal support, and the divorce process.

Call us at 209-910-9865 to schedule your divorce case review. You’ll talk to an experienced Stockton divorce lawyer who can give you the advice you need to begin moving forward.

Dealing With Divorce When You Didn’t Initiate the Process

July 10, 2017August 13, 2020
by Angie

If your spouse initiated divorce proceedings before you were ready (or before you had even decided to dissolve your marriage), you have a lot to deal with.

There is good news, though: You’re not alone. Your Stockton divorce lawyer is here to walk you through the entire process, from start to finish, and provide you with the advice you need to move forward toward the best possible outcome. (And while it may not seem like it right now, you can have what’s called a successful divorce, despite the fact that you weren’t ready when it all began.)

Dealing With Divorce When You Didn’t Initiate the Process

First things first: There’s nothing wrong with talking to a qualified, compassionate, and skilled therapist. This is one of the most difficult transitions you’ll ever go through, so if you’re like most people, you’ll benefit tremendously from talking to an impartial third party.

Even if you choose not to talk to a therapist, you can follow some general guidelines to help yourself through this tough time. While nothing erases the pain you’re feeling, practicing good self-care now can help you come out of this stronger and more resilient than you were before the divorce.

Know That Your Feelings Are Okay

Divorce brings on a roller coaster of emotions. You might feel angry, hopeful, frustrated, and confused… all in one day.

That’s okay. It’s normal. It happens to everyone who’s undergoing such a huge transition.

Your emotional roller coaster won’t go on forever; the feelings you’re experiencing will lessen over time. For now, though, let yourself experience these emotions and recognize that this is your mind’s way of working through a difficult situation.

Give Yourself Time to Rest

You deserve a break—and you need one, now more than ever. It’s okay not to function at 100 percent all the time; right now, you might have a tough time being productive, caring for others (including your children), or even taking care of yourself. You’re not a superhero, and nobody expects you to be one right now. That’s why it’s okay to give yourself permission to rest and recharge, even if the house isn’t clean or you’re a little behind at work.

Help Your Children as Best You Can

Helping your kids is one of the hardest parts of divorce. If you’re like many parents, you’re not exactly sure what to say or how to act—but you can help them cope by:

Listening. Your kids may want to talk, and if they do, let them know you’re always available to listen. (If they don’t want to talk, that’s okay, too. Remember that kids can also benefit from meeting with a therapist, especially if they don’t want to open up to you or your spouse.)
Reassuring them. Make sure your children know that the divorce isn’t their fault, and that you and your spouse still love them the same, no matter what.
Responding. When your kids have questions, be honest and give age-appropriate answers. Don’t ever bad-mouth your spouse to your kids or use them as messengers, though.
Keeping routines. Kids of all ages benefit from keeping routines as regular as possible, especially during tough transitions like divorce.
Being consistent. Work with your spouse to agree on across-the-board rules, bedtimes, and other important issues that face your children.

Do You Need to Talk to a Divorce Lawyer in Stockton?

If your spouse has already begun divorce proceedings, call us right away at 209-910-9865 for a divorce consultation with an experienced attorney. We’ll evaluate your situation and start developing a strategy that gets you the best possible outcome right away.

Tag: <span>Dealing With Divorce</span>

3 Tips to Help You De-Stress During Divorce

3 Tips to Help You De-Stress During Divorce

#1. Keep a Journal.

#2. Get More Than Enough Exercise.

#3. Talk to a Therapist or Counselor.

Are You Considering Divorce?

Dealing With Divorce: 7 Tips to Help You Through…

Dealing With Divorce: 7 Tips to Help You Through It

#1. Give yourself permission to grieve

#2. Find – and use – your support network

#3. Take care of yourself physically

#4. Get to know yourself again

#5. Give arguments a hard pass

#6. Get help when you need it

#7. Let your lawyer worry about strategy

Do You Need to Talk to a Lawyer Because You’re Dealing With Divorce?

Dealing With Divorce When You Didn’t Initiate the Process

Dealing With Divorce When You Didn’t Initiate the Process

Know That Your Feelings Are Okay

Give Yourself Time to Rest

Help Your Children as Best You Can

Do You Need to Talk to a Divorce Lawyer in Stockton?

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