When you’re dealing with divorce, every day can be a battle – you just have so much going on. You’re still showing up at work and doing your job, you’re coming home and helping your children, and you’re trying to put together the pieces so you don’t feel like you’re losing your sanity. Your divorce attorney is there to help you with all the legal aspects of your split, but that’s only part of what you’re focused on.
Try these seven tips to get through your divorce with your sanity intact – they’ve been proven to help people dealing with divorce, and they could help you, too.
Dealing With Divorce: 7 Tips to Help You Through It
Dealing with divorce takes quite a bit of mental work. These seven tips can help you zero in on what’s bothering you and relieve a little bit of the stress you’re currently experiencing.
- Give yourself permission to grieve
- Find – and use – your support network
- Take care of yourself physically
- Get to know yourself again
- Give arguments a hard pass
- Get help when you need it
- Let your lawyer worry about strategy
It’s okay to grieve your divorce – everyone does. It’s a form of loss, which means your mind has to process it that way. It’s also okay to be angry, sad, upset or frustrated. Even if you keep it to yourself, you have to give yourself permission to feel the way you do. You’re going to be operating at less than maximum potential until you recognize and deal with your emotions.
#2. Find – and use – your support network
No man (or woman) is an island! Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on or an arm to lean on during divorce; that’s just the way it is. We’re wired that way, so find people who are supportive of what you’re going through and who let you talk about what’s bothering you. You don’t have to talk to people you know – you can check out divorce support groups or talk to a therapist who focuses on dealing with divorce, too.
#3. Take care of yourself physically
It’s easier to say “take care of yourself physically” than it is to do it, but here’s what you need to know: even a small amount of exercise – like walking from the back of the parking lot to the store or work – can have tremendous benefits. Try to eat well and get enough sleep. We know, that’s a tall order… but your body is what’s getting you through each day, so you have to take care of it – even when you don’t feel like it.
#4. Get to know yourself again
Taking a little time to explore your interests and reconnecting to things you used to enjoy without your spouse can work wonders for your well-being. Go tinker in the garage, crochet a scarf or read an entire book in one sitting – whatever works!
Arguing with your spouse is going to raise your stress levels through the roof, even if you know you don’t have to deal with his or her emotional fallout. If your ex starts to pick a fight, walk away. You hold the cards, and it’s your right to do so until he or she can treat you with the respect you deserve. (Your heart rate will thank you!)
#6. Get help when you need it
Sometimes being strong means asking for help. If you feel like you’re drowning in your emotions, or if you suspect that you’re suffering from depression, reach out to a professional right away. You don’t have to feel that way. You can get help in other ways, too, like asking a friend to watch the kids so you can have a good, solitary cry or calling on someone to help you fix the dishwasher. Don’t be afraid to ask for help – nobody can do everything alone.
Thinking about your case into the wee hours of the morning isn’t doing much but costing you valuable sleep. Let your attorney worry about the strategy that gets you the best possible outcome – you just worry about your well-being and taking care of your kids.
Do You Need to Talk to a Lawyer Because You’re Dealing With Divorce?
If you’re dealing with divorce – whether you’re thinking about filing or your spouse has already filed – we can help.
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