Tag: <span>Divorce and Kids</span>

International Custody

August 11, 2021
by Briana White

Child custody battles are difficult to settle, even for families under normal circumstances. Throw in a couple passports, international job offers, or a few competing citizenships, though, and things get even more interesting.

In a modern world full of ever-shrinking borders and broadening horizons, international custody is becoming more and more commonplace. Hence, if you’re sitting there wondering: “Who gets custody if my spouse or I live internationally?” then you’re far from alone.

International child custody disputes happen every day, and—while slightly more complicated than the regular variety—federal courts and international treaties have already laid out a clearly established set of guidelines for California courts to follow in these situations.

Here’s what those laws look like, how they’re applied in California, and what the team at Maples can do to help resolve your international custody dispute.

International Custody: The Basics

International custody refers to child custody disputes between parents with competing nationalities. This could be because of differing citizenships, international job opportunities, long term travel, immigration, student or work visas, or a number of other scenarios.

In these situations, if both parents recognize the authority of a United States court to decide matters, then there really isn’t an issue, and the case will proceed more or less like a normal custody dispute. Where problems arise, however, is when one parent raises a jurisdictional challenge.

For these matters, California judges are bound to follow the rules and guidelines set down by federal law and international agreement. (This is because—as a state court—California does not have the power to negotiate with foreign courts on its own.)

In the United States, there are two main bodies of law that govern international custody, and they are:

The Hague Convention—an international treaty that deals primarily with international child abduction (especially where parents are involved), and provides judicial protocol for returning a child to their home country for custody resolution.
The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA)—a federal law that helps state courts determine who has jurisdiction, and requires California courts to follow the laws of a child’s home country, if it’s determined that the U.S. does not have jurisdiction.

Hence, when presented with an international custody case, the first thing California courts will do is to see if the country in question has signed on to the Hague Convention.

1. The Other Country is NOT Part of the Hague Convention

If the country in question has not signed the Hague Convention treaty, then before anything else, the court will need to determine who has jurisdiction over the case. In California courts, this determination is made using the UCCJEA.

Under the UCCJEA, a child’s “home” is wherever they have lived during the six months immediately prior to the child custody dispute.

If it’s determined that the child’s home is California, then the court may apply the other country’s laws during the dispute, but aren’t obligated to (and especially not if those laws violate human rights).

If, on the other hand, the other country is their child’s home, then the U.S. will be required to make custody decisions based on that country’s laws (or, according to the UCCJEA, whichever has ultimate jurisdiction).

2. The Other Country IS Part of the Hague Convention

If, on the other hand, the country in question has signed onto the Hague Convention, then the Convention is only triggered if the child has been wrongfully abducted from their home country (or, “habitual residence”).

Here, the country who initiates a claim has two options. They can either:

Demand the immediate return of the child; or,
Request an arrangement for the other parent to have continued access to their child.

The problem is, even when both countries have agreed to the Convention, foreign courts don’t always see eye to eye, and will sometimes refuse to comply. This refusal is exasperated by the fact that there aren’t any real consequences for not following the Convention.

Hence, if you’re worried about an impending divorce that involves international custody, it’s critical to talk to your attorney immediately, just in case you need to file a temporary order.

International Custody and Move Away Requests

Sometimes the court gets an international move away request after a divorce is finalized.

A move away request is essentially a petition for custody modification, which will allow a custodial parent to relocate their child outside the specified geographic boundaries of their parenting agreement.

Like in a regular move away request, your judge will weigh the merits of different factors, in order to determine what scenario will be in your child’s best interest. These include:

The distance of the move.
The reasons for the proposed move.
The child’s age.
The child’s wishes (if old enough).
The child’s need for stability and continuity.
The child’s relationship with both parents.
The relationship between the two parents (including how each communicates, and if both are willing to facilitate the child’s relationship with the other).
The current custody arrangement (including who the custodial parent is, and by how much).

Additionally, when a move will take a child outside of the United States, California courts will pay particular attention to:

The cultural differences between what the child has here, and what they’d experience there (and how that disruption would affect them).
The distance of the move, and what it would mean in terms of travel expenses, jet lag, time difference, and obstruction of contact with the child’s other parent.
Any ongoing jurisdictional problems with the other country (say, for example, whether or not the country was part of the Hague Convention).

Because of the disruption it poses to the child’s life—as well as the challenges it would pose for the child’s other parent—international move away requests are much more difficult to approve than state to state moves.

Parental Kidnapping

Unfortunately, parent kidnappings are a very real, very common occurrence—especially where international custody is concerned. In fact, it’s estimated that over 90% of international kidnappings are carried out by a child’s parent, and these abductions can happen at any time before, during, or after divorce proceedings.

When this happens, the Hague Convention is triggered, and will require the country in question to return the “wrongfully removed” child back to their home country for custody resolution.

The problem is, that—even when both countries have signed the Hague Convention—it’s always more challenging to get a child back, once they’re in another country. And those challenges get worse, the longer the absence drags on.

Hence, if you’re worried your ex might try to remove your child from the country without consent, it’s vital to contact your attorney, and notify officials. In some situations, a temporary order can be filed to ensure they cannot flee with your child.

International Custody Attorneys in California

While international custody isn’t nearly as straightforward as your regular, run-of-the-mill variety, with the right attorney, this process doesn’t have to be as scary as you might be thinking. The key is to act early.

If you have questions about international custody in California, and how these laws might apply to your situation, don’t wait. Call the Maples team at (209) 989-4425, or get in touch online, and let us help protect your child’s best interests in these important matters.

Divorce

How to Start Your Divorce

March 5, 2021February 10, 2021
by Briana White

In the beginning, you weren’t thinking about the end. Beyond the blur of wedding bells, rings, and gifts, the future was bright; full of hope and possibility. Sure, the details weren’t filled in, yet, but the important parts were: the picture of both of you, together, taking on the world.

Now you’re sitting here staring at the ruins of your relationship, wondering what went wrong, and what you’re even supposed to do to prepare for divorce.

The good news is, that—while dealing with divorce might feel impossible in the moment—the future is still bright. Beyond this dark tunnel, the rest of your life waits, and the Maples Family Law team is here to help you get there.

Start Your Divorce: First Steps

Divorce is stressful, there’s no doubt, but it is manageable. And before you allow yourself to get too overwhelmed, take a step back to relax, breathe deep, and keep reading for five simple steps you can take to start your divorce in California.

1. Talk to an Attorney

If you’re ready to divorce, one of the first things you should do, is talk to an attorney about your situation.

In California, there are many different types of divorce. From uncontested to mediation, all the way up to collaborative, and a contested divorce trial, an experienced family attorney will be able to help you decide which one will work best for you.

2. Get Organized

Regardless what type of divorce you decide to try, all of them are going to need the same personal information from you. So, while you’re deciding which attorney to hire, or whether or not legal separation is the preferable alternative, simplify your divorce, by gathering the needed documents right now.

Some of the items you will need include:

Your marriage date and certificate;
Date of separation (if applicable);
All financial documents (such as bank records, credit cards, personal loans, and taxes);
Business shares or interest;
Property records, including mortgage agreements;
Retirement account information;
A copy of your prenuptial agreement (if applicable); as well as,
The names and birthdays of any children you share.

As part of your split, the court will be dividing all marital property between the two of you. Hence, if there’s anything that belongs to you as separate property, you should also make sure you have the necessary proof to support your claims.

Keep in mind that—in addition to being illegal—it’s also extremely difficult to hide assets during divorce. Courts don’t look kindly on this, so it’s best not to try.

3. File a Petition

A divorce doesn’t officially kick off until you file a petition. This document essentially notifies the court of your intent to break your marriage contract, and requests they submit a final ruling.

You or your attorney will need to pick up the divorce petition form at your local courthouse. To fill it out, you will need a lot of the information you gathered in the previous step. Once complete, your or your attorney can return it (and all supporting documents) to your clerk.

While some people abhor the idea of being the first one to ask for divorce, there are actually some benefits to being the first one to file.

4. Notify Your Spouse

Once you’ve filed your petition, the next step is to notify your spouse that you’ve initiated a divorce. While you might be tempted to just send a simple text, California law requires proper service. This involves having an outside party hand-deliver divorce papers.

After receiving papers, your spouse will have thirty days to respond to your petition, giving you a short respite. However, even if they respond sooner, you still won’t be able to get a quick divorce.

5. Prepare to Wait

You and your spouse might be certain about your split, but California courts need a little more convincing.

Humans beings are emotional, rash creatures, and we aren’t always at our best in the heat of an argument. Because of that, all divorcing couples must endure a mandatory, six-month waiting period, before the court will hear their case.

Try not to think of this as a punishment, but as a way to be absolutely sure that divorce is right for you. You can also utilize the time to engage in any discovery needed for your hearing, and to help the rest of your family prepare for the upcoming changes.

Start Your Divorce: Helping a Child Cope

Of course, knowing the technical steps of how to start your divorce is one thing, but dealing with emotions is an entirely different matter. Especially when it comes to parents and young children.

At Maples Family Law, we understand the concerns parents face—how you worry about custody, child support, and the negative impact a hypothetical divorce might have on your child. You carry the heavy burden of trying not to project your emotions onto your child, all the while it feels like a bomb just went off inside your chest.

It’s no wonder you’re stressed.

However, when it comes to your kids, it’s probably not as bad as you might think. Here are a few things for worried parents to keep in mind, when starting a divorce.

Your Child’s Interests Are Guiding the Decisions

The state of California is worried about your family, too, and easing the impact of divorce on your child is one of their top priorities.

When making decisions that affect minors, your judge will put the best interest of your child above all other considerations.

The Right Team Matters

There is no “I” in “Team,” and when it comes to divorce, it can be hard to see the playing field without the right perspective. This is why hiring the right child custody attorney is so important.

A trusted lawyer can help you and your spouse:

Avoid common custody pitfalls;
Mediate custody matters outside of court;
Reach a dynamic parenting plan that meets your family’s unique needs; and,
Develop an effective co-parenting strategy, that will help your child adjust your family’s new normal as smoothly as possible.

Help is Available

Children are amazingly resilient. Most of the time they bounce back from these emotional heartbreaks much better than even the adults do.

That being said, it doesn’t hurt to give them an outlet to work through emotions, or let them talk to a therapist. Extra help is always available, and you don’t have to do this alone.

Divorce Attorneys in California

For more questions about how to start your divorce, call the team at Maples Family Law at (209) 989-4425, or get in touch online. While divorce might be an end, it’s also a beginning—the start of the rest of your life—and it’s one we want to help you reach.

family-law

FAQs About Child Custody Lawyers

March 1, 2021February 10, 2021
by Briana White

For worried parents, one of the most stressful aspects of divorce is how it will affect your child—especially in terms of custody. With your child’s well-being on the line, you want to be certain that the lawyer handling your case will fight for their best interest as passionately as you would.

At Maples Family law, we understand these concerns, and want to do everything possible to help you feel comfortable with the child custody process.

Here are some of the most commonly asked questions about child custody lawyers in California, and how our team can help you.

What is Custody?

First off, child custody is a broad label that refers to the rights and responsibilities associated with parenthood. In California, these custodial powers are divided into two main groups:

Legal Custody—the right to make decisions on behalf of a child and to choose how they will be raised; and,
Physical Custody—the right and responsibility to have a child physically present, and to care for their needs.

When parents get a divorce, these powers and duties must be shared and/or divided between spouses. To this end, judges can order the couple either to share responsibilities in joint custody, or, give only one parent this authority in sole custody.

How these parental rights are divided in your case will depend on an analysis of a number of individualized factors.

Can I Sue for Custody?

The answer to this question depends largely on what your relationship is to the child, and where you’re at in the family law process.

Parents, for example, inherently have rights to access, possession, and control over their child. However, if a parent has to ask about suing for custody, this probably means they’ve had their rights revoked or limited at some point. If this is the case, that parent would need to petition the court to have their current order amended, before custody could be reinstated.

If you are a parent getting divorced, custody will automatically be decided as a part of your parenting plan, and incorporated into your final order. There is no need to file a separate suit.

In California, grandparents do not have the same inherent rights to custody as a child’s parents. However, there are some situations where grandparents can sue for visitation, custody, or even adoption. Usually these cases arise due to parental neglect or abuse.

Should I Hire a Lawyer for Child Custody?

Yes. Whether you are getting divorced, or suing for custody in another capacity, it is always better to have an attorney, then not.

Family law is complicated and nuanced, and child custody is no exception. Without an attorney, you have a much greater chance of making expensive and irreversible mistakes—some of which could end up costing you your relationship with your child.

In the end, hiring an attorney is well worth the added expense to make sure your interests are being properly represented.

What if I Can’t Afford an Attorney for Child Custody?

If finances are tight, check with your local legal aid office, andexplore what resources are available to you there. The State Bar Association strongly encourages California attorneys to devote a portion of their time to pro bono services each year, so you may be able to find a quality attorney, at no cost.

Also, consider whether or not you even need an attorney. While it’s always better to have one, you might be able to forego representation under certain circumstances, especially if your spouse is not using representation, either.

If this is the case, consider trying to solve your differences out of court. Mediation, for example, does not require parties to have a lawyer present in order to reach a settlement agreement.

What Do Judges Look at When Deciding Custody?

The governing standard for any case involving children is the best interest of the child. Under this presumption, all outcomes are evaluated based on what will satisfy the child’s long-term health and happiness the best.

That being said, California courts strongly assume that a child’s best interest is served when allowed to cultivate a loving relationship with both parents. Hence—baring extreme circumstances, such as abuse or neglect—judges are likely to grant parents joint custody in most cases.

Factors your judge might consider when making this decision include:

The emotional and mental stability of both parents;
Home life in each household;
A parent’s ability to care for the child;
Any criminal behavior;
Potential harm that could befall a child; and even,
The child’s preference (especially if the child is over twelve).

Ultimately, however, every decision will come down to what is in the child’s best interest.

Who is Most Likely to Win a Custody Battle?

In California, it’s common for courts to split legal custody fifty-fifty between spouses. In these situations, both parents would have an equal say in how their child was raised, as well as the right to make decisions on behalf of their child (such education, medical procedures, and religious exposure). Physical custody, however, is another matter.

Since it’s so difficult to split a child’s physical time exactly equal, judges will often appoint one parent to be the child’s primary residence, while the other gets ample visitation. Statically speaking, mothers are more likely to be appointed the custodial parent, however this is not always the case.

With same sex marriage now legal, as well as a greater overall emphasis on protecting paternal rights, the role of custodial parent is no longer assumed. In the modern California courtroom, there is no room for gender roles, and every custodial decision is made based on the child’s best interest, alone.

How Can a Father Win a Custody Battle?

A father becomes their child’s custodial parent the same way a mother does: by being in the child’s best interest.

This analysis does not include gender stereotypes. Instead, the court simply wants to know which parent is most likely to:

Provide the best home environment;
Devote time and attention to their child;
Offer continuity and stability;
Meet the child’s physical, mental, and emotional needs; and,
Cultivate a relationship between the child and the child’s other parent.

If you are a father who is interested in becoming your child’s primary custodian, you should discuss it with your attorney, who can help you develop the rights strategy, moving forward.

Can You Lose Custody Because of Mental Illness?

The short answer is: no. The reality is: maybe.

While the presence of a mental illness, itself, does not affect custody, sometimes the type and severity of the illness can. For example, if symptoms are so severe that they inhibit a parent’s ability to address basic needs, or to provide a safe home environment, these things would certainly impact a judge’s decision. However, on its own, the diagnosis is not a deterrent.

California Child Custody Lawyers

If you have more questions about child custody lawyers in California, and how the team at Maples Family Law can help you, call us at (209) 989-4425, or get in touch online, and together, we can ensure that your child’s best interests are being met.

family-law

Child Support in California

February 15, 2021February 1, 2021
by Briana White

Parents have a legal responsibility to provide for their children, and these duties do not cease to exist just because your marriage dissolves. For couples with children, one of the most critical aspects of a divorce proceeding, is establishing an order of custody and financial support for that child. By putting the specifics of these obligations in writing, California courts ensure that both parents are held fiscally responsible for the upbringing of their offspring.

But what, exactly, this child support looks like, in terms of dollars and cents, will be different for every divorce. Just as no two couples are the same, so are no two divorces. When determining the amount of child support, courts use a specific set of guidelines, which will produce an individualized plan that caters to each family’s unique needs.

Here’s a brief run-down of those considerations, and what you can expect your final California child support order to look like.

Child Support in California

Any time a child is under the care of one parent, that parent is responsible for meeting the costs of their child’s basic, daily needs. But—as is often the case in custody arrangements—the custodial time allotted to each parent is rarely equal. The far more common scenario, is when one parent bears the most physical responsibility for the child, while the other parent has only partial physical custody. Child support, then, is meant to compensate for situations where this custodial care is unequal. Usually, the difference is made up by the non-custodial parent, however, in some situations, a judge might order both parents to pay.

As a general rule, parents have very little say over how much, and who will be required to make these payments, but according to California law(and just about everywhere else in the country, for that matter), this support is mandatory.

Calculating Child Support in California

When constructing a child support order in California, judges will typically follow California’s child support guidelines. Under this process, a number of independent factors are evaluated, however, the three biggest elements that impact the end result, are:

The number of children that qualify for support;
How much time each parent has with their children (or rather, the amount of physical custodial time each parent has); and,
Each parent’s disposable income.

Element three is the trickiest factor to figure, since it requires the most number crunching. To make things easier, California courts have devised a simple equation:

Gross Annual Income – Mandatory Deductions ÷ Twelve = Net Disposable Income

Gross annual income comprises of earnings from all sources, including regular salary, bonuses, commissions, rental income, pensions, and royalties. It can also encompass benefits from a business ownership, and even monies obtained from self-employment benefits.

Mandatory deductions required by law, on the other hand, would comprise of any tax obligations, job expenses, health insurance premiums, and other hardships (such as child support owed to a previous relationship, or health expenses).

After dividing the end result by twelve, the court is left with a pretty good idea of what each individual’s net disposable income is each month. Armed with this information, a judge can then attribute a percentage of that number toward child support, based on the amount of physical custodial time each parent spends with their child.

Other Factors Influencing Child Support

While the formula for determining child support in California might sound fairly scientific, there are still some considerations which could influence the final figure. If the mathematical outcome of these calculations isn’t “fair or reasonable,” judges have the power to alter the amount—higher or lower—at their discretion. Some of the circumstances that might prompt them to do so would be if:

A parent’s extraordinarily high income exceeds a child’s needs;
The contribution doesn’t match the custodial deficit;
Both parents spend roughly equal time with the child, but one pays more in housing; and,
Any child care costs, health expenses, or special needs that aren’t accounted for under the usual formula.

To get an idea of what your child support payments might be, based on California’s guidelines, try using this child support calculator. However, understand that these figures are just estimates, and in the end, the final amount will be up to the judge.

Appropriate Uses of Child Support

A common misconception assumes that child support in California is meant to cover only the bare necessities, and this is far from the truth. While child support money is certainly meant to put clothes on the kid’s back and food in their belly, courts expect these monies to be used for more than just essential survival. (Because let’s be honest, when it comes to kids, the term “needs” is fluid, and basically amounts to a bottomless pit). That being said, other legitimate expenditures might include education, health insurance and medical bills, childcare, transportation, extra-curricular activities, and, yes, even entertainment. A parent might also spend child support on things like heating, electricity, and internet, since these bills all address a child’s needs and expectations.

Unless basic needs aren’t being met, the custodial parent isn’t required to make an accounting of how child support is being used—and this standard probably won’t change. Not only are the costs of raising a child enormous and sometimes difficult to track, but they’re also extremely ambiguous. Requiring a custodial parent to make an accounting would place an unacceptable amount of strain on an already-overloaded court system, to say nothing of the burden it would put on the parents, themselves. It would be impractical.

So, while you probably shouldn’t use child support money to leave your kid at home and go on a solo vacation without them, the custodial parent has a lot of freedom when it comes to choosing how they spend child support. And since kids are so thoroughly blended into every single breathing moment of a parent’s life, this actually makes a lot of sense.

Duration of Child Support Payments

Another erroneous assumption that people often make about child support in California, is that payments automatically end once the child turns eighteen. Though teenagers might disagree, eighteen is not, in fact, a magical number at which point a child no longer needs the help and financial support of their parents—especially since many are still in school when that birthday occurs.

Because of this, California law states that child support payments are mandatory until the child turns nineteen, or until high school graduation, whichever comes first. Therefore, you can’t just stop paying support just because your kid hits the big one-eight. Unless your child:

Marries or registers a domestic partnership;
Joins the military;
Is emancipated; or,
Dies,

If high school hasn’t ended, then neither has your obligation to support.

Child Support and Visitation

It can be frustrating to try and wrangle child support payments out of an uncooperative former spouse each month—no one is arguing that. However, we have to stress, that being late or missing payments on child support does not give a custodial parent the right to withhold visitation from their former partner. In fact, doing so is actually a crime, and could adversely affect their own rights under the custody agreement. Bottom line? Child support isn’t the price of an admission ticket to see your child. It’s money to help offset the significant costs of raising a kid, and a late or default payment cannot diminish a parent’s basic rights to access their child.

If you are having problems with your former partner paying child support, a Stockton divorce lawyer can help you file a complaint with the court. The California judicial system takes child support seriously, and there are proper channels available to address incomplete or late payments without damaging your own rights under the custody arrangement.

Child Support Attorneys in California

Unfortunately, as much as we hate it, children are the ones usually hurt the most in divorce. And while nothing can compensate for the emotional trauma they face, child support can—at the very least—help them maintain some semblance of normalcy and comfort in the upturned world they’re expected to make the best of.

If you or someone you love have more question about child support in California—or any other divorce related questions—we can help. Call us at (209) 989-4425, or get in touch online to schedule your consultation today, and let us make sure your child support needs are being met.

Divorce

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents

November 6, 2019August 13, 2020
by Angie

Thanksgiving is right around the corner – and if you’re going through a divorce, or if you’re recently divorced and this is your first Thanksgiving day without your spouse (and possibly without your kids), here’s what you can do to get through it.

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents

For most people, Thanksgiving is a family-centered holiday. That means during or after divorce, you have some coping to do – it’s going to be different this year than it has been in years past. Unfortunately, while only time can really make it easier, there are a few things you can do to cope with the new reality of the holiday season.

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents: Dealing With Nostalgia

If you’re like many people, particularly those who are spending their first after-divorce Thanksgiving without a spouse and children, you’ll experience nostalgia – and that’s fine. However, be careful not to put all your focus on the way things were before; now is the time to make new traditions. Consider spending Thanksgiving with your own family or friends or doing some volunteer work. You might think about delivering bags of food and necessities to homeless people downtown, or maybe you’ll offer your services to a soup kitchen or other charity.

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents: Dealing With Your Ex

Perhaps you and your spouse have a flexible child custody agreement that allows you to share time with the kids on Thanksgiving, or maybe one of you will have them on the “big day” and the other will have them the following day. Sometimes parents agree to swap out holidays, where one parent has the children on even-numbered years and the other has them on odd-numbered years. No matter what your arrangement looks like, you still have to remember that you and your kids’ other parent are still parenting together – and you’ll want to avoid bad-mouthing your ex or talking about whether you agree with the arrangement in front of your children.

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents: Dealing With Your Kids’ Feelings

Your children might be upset about your divorce, and the holidays can make those feelings more intense. In some cases, kids aren’t happy about having to spend Thanksgiving with one parent while leaving the other behind – they may feel like you’ll be all alone. You should acknowledge your kids’ feelings; don’t minimize them. The key here is making your children feel like you understand where they’re coming from… but without getting caught in the trap of bad-mouthing your custody arrangement or their other parent.

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents: Creating New Traditions

Thanksgiving is all about gratitude, which can be tough during or just after a divorce. However, you’re modeling for your children, which means you should still try to find things to be grateful for. Maybe you’re grateful for your close relationships with your children, your supportive relationships with friends and family, or your health. When you highlight genuine gratitude for your kids, you’re showing them positive coping strategies (and you’re giving yourself a reality check).

If you have your children this year – or even if you don’t – now is a great time to start your own traditions. (Check out these ideas!)

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents: Taking Care of Yourself

Take care of yourself. You’ll likely have other holidays without your children, which means you can start planning ahead for how you’ll spend that time. Maybe you want to relax on your own, binge-watching your favorite shows or a movie series (The Avengers series will take all day!), or perhaps you’d rather spend time with your friends by hosting a “Friendsgiving” dinner in your home.

We know the holidays can be stressful – especially if you’re in the middle of a divorce or you’ve just received your divorce decree. By using these coping tips, though, you can make it a little easier on yourself and your children, and you’ll be better prepared for next year.

Do You Need to Talk to a Stockton Divorce Lawyer?

If you’re ending your marriage and need to talk to a divorce lawyer in Stockton, we can help. Call us at (209) 546-6870 to tell us what’s going on. We’ll evaluate your case and start building a strategy that gets you – and your family – the best possible outcome.

Child Custody

Parentage in California – The Law & Implications of…

May 31, 2018September 16, 2019
by tobyrosen

When a party initiates a “paternity case”, which is synonymous with a “parentage case”, the Court is tasked with issuing an order determining the “legal parents” of a child. As we will discuss below, this is not always the biological parents of the child. A Court order stating that an individual is a “legal parent” of a child has far reaching implications. While this is hardly an exhaustive list, the “legal parent” of a child is obligated to provide financial support for their child, they can provide their child with life insurance or health insurance, their child gains the right to inherit, and the “legal parent” is able to access their child’s medical records and history.

The simplest situation arises when a child is born to a couple during their marriage, in this case parentage is usually not an issue. There is a “conclusive presumption” that a child born to a couple during marriage is the child of both spouses; this “conclusive presumption” operates to establish parentage as a matter of law in most cases. A few examples of when the “conclusive presumption” applies include:

At the time the child was conceived or born, the father was married to the child’s mother;
At the time the child was conceived or born, the father had attempted to marry the child’s mother, but the marriage was invalid for some legal deficiency;
After the child was born, the father married the child’s mother and either
1. Agreed to have his name on the child’s birth-certificate; or
2. Agreed to support the child
After the child was born, the father openly treated the child as his own; this is referred to as “parentage by estoppel.”

The situation becomes more complicated when a child is born to an unmarried couple. In the case of children born out of wedlock, the Court will need to issue an Order determining the “legal parents” of the child.

The most complicated situation arises where a child is born to a marriage, but the spouse is not the biological parent of that child; that is beyond the scope of this article. This article will briefly discuss the law & implications surrounding being a “legal parent.”

What Does it Mean to “Establish Parentage”?

There are two avenues of establishing parentage: (1) A party may seek an order from the Court stating who the “legal parents” are, or (2) the parties may sign a “declaration of Paternity”, which states which individuals are the “legal parents” of a child. The most common situation that arises is where a child was born to a couple out of wedlock.

Example: Fred Father is not married to Monica Mother when Dayna Daughter is born. At this point in time, Dayna’s “legal parent” is Monica. This remains true even if Fred can prove he is Dayna’s biological father. At this point, Fred cannot provide Dayna with the family-benefits he may have earned through his employment, while Monica can. Fred will not have any legal rights or responsibilities relating to Dayna until he has “established parentage.”

Taking the example above a step further, let’s assume Fred and Monica had a less-than-friendly breakup, and Monica does not want Fred to be involved in Dayna’s life. Without establishing parentage, Fred has no claim to custody, visitation, or child support. The Court must first establish parentage (note that Fred can request an order for child support, custody, and/or visitation as part of claim to establish parentage). A party seeking to establish the parentage of an individual who is unwilling to admit that they are the parent of a child can seek, and obtain, a Court order requiring the alleged mother, father, and child to submit to genetic testing.

Once the “legal parents” have been established, they have all the legal responsibilities and rights associated with being a parent. This includes, but is not limited to:

The right to request visitation (also referred to as “parenting time”) orders so that they may legally visit their child;
The right to request custody orders;
The obligation to pay child support;
The obligation to pay ½ of the health-care (uninsured health-care) costs of the child; and
The obligation to pay ½ of the child-care costs of a child, provided those costs were incurred as a result of the parent who has custody going to work or school.

It bears emphasizing that if you are the “legal parent” of a child, you are legally obligated to support that child. It is a punishable offense to fail to support your child and may have a significant impact on other aspects of your life (i.e., obtaining a passport).

Why Should I “Establish Parentage”?

Having identified parents is important for a child’s psychological well-being, among other things. In addition to the psychological benefit to the child, “establishing parentage” entitles the child to privileges and rights, including:

The right to receive financial support from two (2) parents;
Legal documentation, which identifies the child’s parents;
Health insurance coverage from either parent;
Life insurance coverage from either parent; and
The legal right to inheritance from both parents

In addition to the benefits to the child mentioned above, “establishing parentage” allows the Court to make numerous Orders benefitting one or both “legal parents.” These orders include the ability to obtain reimbursement for birth and pregnancy expenses.

It is an unfortunate reality, but sometimes people do not want to pay support for their children, without “establishing parentage” the Courts simply do not have the authority to force them to make payments. To answer the question posed above, “Why should I establish parentage?” the answer is “to protect yourself, and to protect your child.”

How Do I Establish Parentage?

For purposes of this article, there are two (2) methods of “establishing parentage” when the “conclusive presumption” discussed above do not apply:

Obtaining a Court Order; or
Signing a Voluntary Declaration of Paternity

The Voluntary Declaration of Paternity is an official California form, which establishes the signing parties as the child’s “legal parent.” This form follows general contract law, in that the signature must be voluntary; that means defenses such as duress, fraud, and mistake could theoretically undo the effect of a Voluntary Declaration of Paternity. The purpose of the Voluntary Declaration of Paternity is to legally establish the identity of a child’s parents, including the rights and obligations associated with being a parent, when the parents of the child are unmarried. A properly executed Voluntary Declaration of Paternity has the same legal effect as an order from the Court “establishing parentage”; the benefit of taking this route is avoiding Court and the costs associated with going to Court.

How Do I Dispute Parentage and Genetic Testing?

Unfortunately, it has become increasingly common for the mother of a child to tell a man that he is the father of that child, even if it is unclear whether that is the case. There are an infinite number of reasons a mother might do this, ranging from the benign (the mother honestly believes the man is the father of the child) to the fraudulent (the mother knows the man is not the father, but believes the child’s life will be better if the man is obligated to support them). The attorneys at Maples Family Law believe that more often than not, this is an honest mistake.

When the male who has been informed that he is a father has doubts that he is the father, they have the right to request genetic testing to discern whether that is the case. Deoxyribonucleic acid (“DNA”) is a chain of nucleotides, which carry the genetic information to determine the development, growth, functioning, and reproduction of all living organisms on earth; they are also unique to each human being. A child receives DNA from both their biological mother, as well as their biological father. A DNA test requires a DNA sample from the mother, the alleged father, and the child. Many people believe the DNA test requires blood, however since saliva also contains an individual’s DNA, a simple cotton swab (a Q-tip for example) is sufficient to conduct the test; however, this test must be conducted at an approved location (you cannot take the DNA sample on your own, and rely on that sample to prove, or disprove, parentage).

If the parties utilize the Department of Child Support Services (“DCSS”) to perform the DNA test, there is generally no fee for either of the parents.

Here at Maples Family Law, we understand that “establishing parentage” is incredibly important for several reasons. It is important to your child to know who their parents are and receive the support that they are legally entitled to, which will provide them the best opportunities to grow up to be a successful and productive member of society. For the mother “establishing parentage” is important to obtain support in the undeniably expensive task of raising a child. For the father, “establishing parentage” is important either to obtain support for raising a child, or to obtain the rights associated with a parent so they can take an active role in their child’s development. Regardless of why “establishing parentage” is important to you, the attorneys at Maples Family Law are ready, willing, and able to assist you in pursuing your goals.

Divorce

3 Common Ways Divorce Affects Kids

April 24, 2018January 17, 2019
by Angie

Experts agree that divorce affects kids, but just how it does is still a matter of debate – especially because each child is different.

But there are a few common themes in the ways divorce affects children, and here’s what top psychologists have to say.

3 Common Ways Divorce Affects Kids

While children react differently to divorce, many of the same aspects affect them across the board. The common themes include:

Stress and anxiety
Lowered confidence levels
Acting out

#1: Stress and Anxiety

Just like it is for you, divorce is stressful for children. They handle stress differently than adults do, though.

“The dependent child’s short term reaction to divorce can be an anxious one. So much is different, new, unpredictable, and unknown that life becomes filled with scary questions. What is going to happen to next? Who will take care of me? If my parents can lose for each other, can they lose love for me? With one parent moving out, what if I lose the other too?” says Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., psychologist and author of 15 parenting books.

How You Can Help

Keep conflict away from the children
Minimize daily disruptions and stick to a schedule so kids know what to expect
Make sure both parents are involved in the kids’ day-to-day lives

#2: Lowered Confidence Levels

Like adults, kids can suffer blows to self-esteem and confidence. A period of uncertainty – like a divorce – can cause children to blame themselves for what’s going on because they connect the world around them to their own identities.

“Kids tend to be ‘egocentric’ and believe that their behavior or thoughts cause bad events. They need to know that the adults have made this decision based on their relationship and it has nothing to do with them,” says licensed clinical social worker Meri Wallace.

How You Can Help

Reassure your kids that the divorce is not their fault
Participate in their lives and plan team activities
Answer questions honestly, but in age-appropriate ways

#3: Acting Out

Children act out in many ways – sometimes through smart comments and “bad” attitudes, and sometimes in more damaging ways.

“Often, negative comments from your children are expressions of distress and not criticism. Children want and need encouragement, support, and security during times of stress and change. If their needs are not being met because one or both parents are too caught up in their own hurt and drama, it is not surprising to hear negative comments and outbursts,” says Rosalind Sedacca, CDC, who is also a parenting coach and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents.

How You Can Help

Assure your child that he or she is safe and very loved by both of you
Talk to your child about what’s causing the undesirable behavior
Find a family therapist who can help your child develop new coping strategies

While no two children will be hit the same way by divorce, there are always ways you can proactively help yours – and understanding these three common themes is the right start.

Do You Need to Talk to a Stockton Divorce Lawyer?

We welcome the opportunity to answer your questions about divorce and issues such as custody, child support, spousal support, and the divorce process.

Call us at 209-910-9865 to schedule your divorce case review. You’ll talk to an experienced Stockton divorce lawyer who can give you the advice you need to begin moving forward.

Divorce

5 Ways to Help Your Teen Cope With Divorce

November 14, 2017January 17, 2019
by Angie

If you’re like most parents going through divorce, you’re wondering, “Is divorce bad for kids?”

The good news is that although it can be difficult to deal with, children of divorce often bounce back while become more resilient and able to cope with life’s challenges than they were before. That’s particularly true if you’re committed to helping your teen — and using these five tips can keep your family is on the right path.

5 Ways to Help Your Teen Cope With Divorce

You and your soon-to-be ex-spouse can help teenagers cope with the struggles he or she is facing during your divorce. Even if you’ve gotten off to a rough start, it’s not too late to reel things back in and help your child as best you can. Here’s the breakdown:

Keep the peace between you and your spouse.
Don’t involve your children in your divorce.
Talk about (and look forward to) the future.
Help your teen determine his or her strengths.
Try to keep your teen’s life stable and predictable.

1. Keep the Peace to Help Your Teenager Cope With Divorce

Many experts suggest that children whose parents fight frequently (and in front of them) are better off when the two parents split up – and that’s because constant controversy causes a lot of stress, anxiety and other issues.

Teenagers find divorce that much harder when their parents are behaving poorly to each other, too.

That means you and your ex need to set aside your differences, even if only when you’re in front of your teens, so that you can soothe some of your child’s worries and minimize his or her stress. (It’s easier said than done, but it’s well worth it.)

2. Don’t Involve Your Children in Your Divorce

Teenagers are still getting to know themselves, and when parents ask them – or imply that they should – take sides, things become infinitely harder. Your kids need to feel free to spend quality time with either of you without your adult differences interfering in parent-child relationships (on either side).

If you’re struggling to come to terms with hurt you may have caused, or if you need to learn new strategies to help you cope with what you’re going through, you may benefit from talking to a counselor or therapist. The same is true for your children; depression in teens is a serious medical condition, but even if you don’t feel your teen is depressed or anxious in a medical sense, it can’t hurt to talk to an impartial third party.

3. Talk About (and Look Forward to) the Future

A lot of teens worry that their future relationships will be affected by their parents’ divorces, but many also worry about other plans – like college, visiting grandparents over the summer, and other activities that could be impacted by parents trimming down to single-income households.

Talk to your teen about his or her upcoming plans in a positive light. Make sure your child knows that you and your ex are willing to do what it takes to co-parent effectively, including making sure he or she gets a good education and is still able to have a quality family life.

4. Help Your Teen Determine His or Her Strengths

Some teenagers are better at coping with stress than others are, and that’s okay. Help your teen figure out his or her best coping mechanisms and have an “open-door” policy that lets your child know you’re always available to talk about his or her concerns.

Another way to help your teen focus on his or her strengths is to come up with better (or easier) methods of communication. Some kids shut down during conflict, while others dive right into the fray – but you want your child to learn how to effectively communicate through conflicts without picking up bad habits for the future. Experts suggest having a cool-down period before discussing major issues, teaching your teen that his or her concerns matter, or writing letters to parents to avoid face-to-face confrontation or emotional stresses.

5. Try to Keep Your Teen’s Life Stable and Predictable

Teenagers thrive on predictability. It’s how they know what to expect from you and your ex, and how trust is developed. By keeping your teen’s life as stable and predictable as possible, you’ll prevent a tremendous amount of stress and pressure.

Do You Need to Talk to a Stockton Divorce Attorney?

If you’re thinking about divorce, or if your spouse has already filed for a divorce, we can help you.

Call a Stockton family law attorney now at 209-910-9865 or contact us online to schedule an appointment today.

Divorce

Is Divorce Bad for Kids?

August 14, 2017January 17, 2019
by Angie

Each year, divorce affects about 1.5 million kids across the U.S.

For most parents going through the divorce process, it’s incredibly difficult. They’re asking themselves, “Am I harming my kids? Will this cause my children emotional scars? Will my kids ever be okay again?”

Parents worry about these things long before they file for divorce, and many choose to remain in unhappy marriages because they’re worried about the affect a split would have on their kids.

But research suggests that kids can—and typically do—bounce back when their parents divorce.

Is Divorce Bad for Kids? What the Science Says

Many kids experience short-term, negative effects stemming from their parents’ divorce. However, according to a study conducted at the University of Virginia (and a significant amount of research, like this, this, and this), the negative effects usually diminish or disappear within two years. A study by sociologist Paul R. Amato published in the Journal of Marriage and Family says the same: The majority of children bounce back, and by the time they’re adults, they’re on par with their peers with married parents do when it comes to behavior issues, self-concept, and social relationships.

There are things you can do to make your divorce easier on your kids. You’re not going to make it completely painless—nobody can pull that off—but you can significantly reduce your children’s stress and help them work through the emotions they’re feeling by adopting a few simple principles.

How to Make Divorce Easier on Your Kids

The way your children react to divorce will be different from the way your nieces and nephews, friends’ kids, or their classmates react. It’ll depend on their ages, personalities, and what brought about the divorce in the first place (including how much they know about the circumstances).

What you can do is to keep visible conflict—shouting matches, legal talk, and rudeness—away from your kids, regardless of their ages or their maturity levels. Experts also suggest:

Keeping your kids on a good routine. Don’t pull them out of sports or music lessons, and try not to switch schools in the middle of a school year. Try to keep them on a familiar schedule, too. Naturally, you’ll have to make some adjustments; your ex will pick them up from school, or they’ll spend the weekends with their other parent. Those kinds of adjustments are fine, as long as your children know what to expect. (Nobody likes to be told at the last minute that their plans have been changed for them!)
Keeping negativity (and blame) to yourself when your children are around. This goes for both parents. Don’t forget, too, that what your grandmother said was true: Little pitchers have big ears. Even if you think your kids can’t hear you or understand what you’re talking about, there’s a good chance they’re absorbing every word. (If you’ve ever tried to keep an after-dinner trip to the ice cream shop on the down-low when there were children within 50 feet, you know exactly what we’re talking about.)
Keeping both parents involved in the children’s lives. Kids need both parents for emotional (and financial) support. Even if one parent only gets a limited amount of time with the kids, that time is essential to their well-being.
Seeking outside help if you need it. It can’t hurt to have your children talk to a therapist or counselor who’s trained in helping kids through stressful life events such as divorce. You’re a parent, and you know your kids better than anyone else does; if you think they need help, ask your Stockton divorce lawyer to refer you to a counselor or therapist with a track record of helping kids navigate the muddy waters of divorce.

Do You Need to Talk to a Lawyer About Divorce?

Divorce is never easy, but working with an attorney who understands what you and your kids are going through can make it a lot less stressful.

If you’d like to talk to a divorce lawyer in Stockton right now, call us at 209-910-9865 or get in touch with us online. We’ll discuss your situation and start mapping out a plan that gets you and your children the best possible outcome.