Each year, divorce affects about 1.5 million kids across the U.S.
For most parents going through the divorce process, it’s incredibly difficult. They’re asking themselves, “Am I harming my kids? Will this cause my children emotional scars? Will my kids ever be okay again?”
Parents worry about these things long before they file for divorce, and many choose to remain in unhappy marriages because they’re worried about the affect a split would have on their kids.
But research suggests that kids can—and typically do—bounce back when their parents divorce.
Many kids experience short-term, negative effects stemming from their parents’ divorce. However, according to a study conducted at the University of Virginia (and a significant amount of research, like this, this, and this), the negative effects usually diminish or disappear within two years. A study by sociologist Paul R. Amato published in the Journal of Marriage and Family says the same: The majority of children bounce back, and by the time they’re adults, they’re on par with their peers with married parents do when it comes to behavior issues, self-concept, and social relationships.
There are things you can do to make your divorce easier on your kids. You’re not going to make it completely painless—nobody can pull that off—but you can significantly reduce your children’s stress and help them work through the emotions they’re feeling by adopting a few simple principles.
The way your children react to divorce will be different from the way your nieces and nephews, friends’ kids, or their classmates react. It’ll depend on their ages, personalities, and what brought about the divorce in the first place (including how much they know about the circumstances).
What you can do is to keep visible conflict—shouting matches, legal talk, and rudeness—away from your kids, regardless of their ages or their maturity levels. Experts also suggest:
Divorce is never easy, but working with an attorney who understands what you and your kids are going through can make it a lot less stressful.
If you’d like to talk to a divorce lawyer in Stockton right now, call us at 209-910-9865 or get in touch with us online. We’ll discuss your situation and start mapping out a plan that gets you and your children the best possible outcome.
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