Experts agree that divorce affects kids, but just how it does is still a matter of debate – especially because each child is different.
But there are a few common themes in the ways divorce affects children, and here’s what top psychologists have to say.
While children react differently to divorce, many of the same aspects affect them across the board. The common themes include:
Just like it is for you, divorce is stressful for children. They handle stress differently than adults do, though.
“The dependent child’s short term reaction to divorce can be an anxious one. So much is different, new, unpredictable, and unknown that life becomes filled with scary questions. What is going to happen to next? Who will take care of me? If my parents can lose for each other, can they lose love for me? With one parent moving out, what if I lose the other too?” says Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., psychologist and author of 15 parenting books.
Like adults, kids can suffer blows to self-esteem and confidence. A period of uncertainty – like a divorce – can cause children to blame themselves for what’s going on because they connect the world around them to their own identities.
“Kids tend to be ‘egocentric’ and believe that their behavior or thoughts cause bad events. They need to know that the adults have made this decision based on their relationship and it has nothing to do with them,” says licensed clinical social worker Meri Wallace.
Children act out in many ways – sometimes through smart comments and “bad” attitudes, and sometimes in more damaging ways.
“Often, negative comments from your children are expressions of distress and not criticism. Children want and need encouragement, support, and security during times of stress and change. If their needs are not being met because one or both parents are too caught up in their own hurt and drama, it is not surprising to hear negative comments and outbursts,” says Rosalind Sedacca, CDC, who is also a parenting coach and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents.
While no two children will be hit the same way by divorce, there are always ways you can proactively help yours – and understanding these three common themes is the right start.
We welcome the opportunity to answer your questions about divorce and issues such as custody, child support, spousal support, and the divorce process.
Call us at 209-910-9865 to schedule your divorce case review. You’ll talk to an experienced Stockton divorce lawyer who can give you the advice you need to begin moving forward.
Child Custody Orders: San Joaquin, California In California, divorced, separated, or never married parents must…
https://youtu.be/tt_A0YoAbVs Co-Parenting from a Child's Based Perspective Parenting Words of Wisdom “Promise me you’ll always remember:…
Divorce in California If you are considering a divorce in California, there are a few…
Words of Wisdom https://youtube.com/shorts/p7mO71I_8cA Original Article Posted at drthomasmaples.com The Psychology of Divorce As…
Guide 4 Divorce in California Considering a divorce in California? You will want to know…
This website uses cookies.