In the beginning, you weren’t thinking about the end. Beyond the blur of wedding bells, rings, and gifts, the future was bright; full of hope and possibility. Sure, the details weren’t filled in, yet, but the important parts were: the picture of both of you, together, taking on the world.
Now you’re sitting here staring at the ruins of your relationship, wondering what went wrong, and what you’re even supposed to do to prepare for divorce.
The good news is, that—while dealing with divorce might feel impossible in the moment—the future is still bright. Beyond this dark tunnel, the rest of your life waits, and the Maples Family Law team is here to help you get there.
Start Your Divorce: First Steps
Divorce is stressful, there’s no doubt, but it is manageable. And before you allow yourself to get too overwhelmed, take a step back to relax, breathe deep, and keep reading for five simple steps you can take to start your divorce in California.
Regardless what type of divorce you decide to try, all of them are going to need the same personal information from you. So, while you’re deciding which attorney to hire, or whether or not legal separation is the preferable alternative, simplify your divorce, by gathering the needed documents right now.
The names and birthdays of any children you share.
As part of your split, the court will be dividing all marital property between the two of you. Hence, if there’s anything that belongs to you as separate property, you should also make sure you have the necessary proof to support your claims.
Keep in mind that—in addition to being illegal—it’s also extremely difficult to hide assets during divorce. Courts don’t look kindly on this, so it’s best not to try.
3. File a Petition
A divorce doesn’t officially kick off until you file a petition. This document essentially notifies the court of your intent to break your marriage contract, and requests they submit a final ruling.
You or your attorney will need to pick up the divorce petition form at your local courthouse. To fill it out, you will need a lot of the information you gathered in the previous step. Once complete, your or your attorney can return it (and all supporting documents) to your clerk.
Once you’ve filed your petition, the next step is to notify your spouse that you’ve initiated a divorce. While you might be tempted to just send a simple text, California law requiresproper service. This involves having an outside party hand-deliver divorce papers.
After receiving papers, your spouse will have thirty days to respond to your petition, giving you a short respite. However, even if they respond sooner, you still won’t be able to get a quick divorce.
5. Prepare to Wait
You and your spouse might be certain about your split, but California courts need a little more convincing.
Humans beings are emotional, rash creatures, and we aren’t always at our best in the heat of an argument. Because of that, all divorcing couples must endure a mandatory, six-month waiting period, before the court will hear their case.
Try not to think of this as a punishment, but as a way to be absolutely sure that divorce is right for you. You can also utilize the time to engage in any discovery needed for your hearing, and to help the rest of your family prepare for the upcoming changes.
Start Your Divorce: Helping a Child Cope
Of course, knowing the technical steps of how to start your divorce is one thing, but dealing with emotions is an entirely different matter. Especially when it comes to parents and young children.
At Maples Family Law, we understand the concerns parents face—how you worry about custody, child support, and the negative impact a hypothetical divorce might have on your child. You carry the heavy burden of trying not to project your emotions onto your child, all the while it feels like a bomb just went off inside your chest.
It’s no wonder you’re stressed.
However, when it comes to your kids, it’s probably not as bad as you might think. Here are a few things for worried parents to keep in mind, when starting a divorce.
Your Child’s Interests Are Guiding the Decisions
The state of California is worried about your family, too, and easing the impact of divorce on your child is one of their top priorities.
When making decisions that affect minors, your judge will put the best interest of your child above all other considerations.
The Right Team Matters
There is no “I” in “Team,” and when it comes to divorce, it can be hard to see the playing field without the right perspective. This is why hiring the right child custody attorney is so important.
Reach a dynamic parenting plan that meets your family’s unique needs; and,
Develop an effective co-parenting strategy, that will help your child adjust your family’s new normal as smoothly as possible.
Help is Available
Children are amazingly resilient. Most of the time they bounce back from these emotional heartbreaks much better than even the adults do.
That being said, it doesn’t hurt to give them an outlet to work through emotions, or let them talk to atherapist. Extra help is always available, and you don’t have to do this alone.
Divorce Attorneys in California
For more questions about how to start your divorce, call the team at Maples Family Law at (209) 989-4425, or get in touch online. While divorce might be an end, it’s also a beginning—the start of the rest of your life—and it’s one we want to help you reach.
If you’ve never experienced it before, divorce can be an intimidating process. Between filing the correct forms, locating documents, and keeping track of deadlines, there’s a lot to remember, and, without help, the journey can quickly become overwhelming.
To help you out, this article will walk you through the basic steps of how to get a divorce in California, and how the lawyers at Maples Family Law can make this process easier for you.
Residency Requirements
If you want a divorce, one of the first things you’ll need to do is make sure you meet the residency requirements at both the state and county levels.
In order to file in California, you will need to have lived in the state for at least 6 months. For residents of San Joaquin county, the requirement is three.
If you’ve fallen short in either of these categories, you don’t need to worry. There is a lot of busy work that needs to happen before you file, anyway. While you wait, discuss your situation with a family law attorney, who can make sure you have all the necessary information on hand to hit the ground rolling.
Important Dates
Regardless of what documents are required for your, individual case, two important dates you will certainly need are your: 1) date of marriage; and, 2) date of separation.
These dates are important, because they’re used to help determine your interests in marital property.
California is a community property state. This means that all assets acquired after marriage belong to both of you equally—regardless of whose name is on the paycheck, account, or card. Unless you have a valid prenup saying otherwise, this shared interest continues up until the time of separation.
Determining your date of separation is much simpler, if you and your spouse had a legal separation. Those couples who didn’t make separation official will need to comb through emails, texts, and other informal documents to prove this date to a judge.
Immediate Orders
Another thing to consider before filing, is whether or not you’ll need a temporary order.
Temporary orders are provisional (meaning, they have a set expiration date), and can be used to prohibit certain behaviors or dictate responsibilities while your divorce is pending.
These can be tailored to meet your individual needs, but are often used to:
Outline living arrangements and the bill-paying responsibilities of each spouse.
Temporary orders can be especially useful for those who might be worried about spousal retaliation. In these scenarios, a temporary order can prohibit your spouse from emptying bank accounts, destroying property, and fleeing across state lines with your children.
If you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence of any kind, remember that keeping yourself and your children safe is paramount to everything else.
File Documents
After your paperwork is complete, you will need to take your documents to your local family court to file them, and to pay the associated fees. In California, the filing fee for an original petition of divorce is $435.
If you are trying to execute a D.I.Y. divorce, this fee will be your responsibility. Those who utilize an attorney, however, do not need to worry about these technicalities. When you hire a lawyer, they are in charge of making sure all the necessary paperwork is filed on time, and that fees are paid (the amounts of which will be deducted from your retainer).
Serve Your Spouse
Once divorce has been initiated, the next step is to notify your spouse—and this cannot be done with a simple phone call or text message. Proper notification (or “service,” as is the legal term), is done by giving physical copies of all paperwork to your spouse, in person.
As a party to the case, however, you are not allowed to serve divorce papers on your spouse. Other than that, though, the requirements are pretty open, meaning it’s usually not necessary to hire a professional process server.
For service to be proper in California, your server must be:
Deliver the Proof of Service to you, so that your attorney can file it with the court.
Failing to complete proper service could put your case in danger of dismissal.
If you are unable to meet the sixty-day timeframe, your attorney can request more time. This extension is often needed by spouses who have been abandoned, and don’t know how to locate their partner. In these situations, the court will sometimes make an exception to in-person delivery, and allow you to utilize another method of service.
Waiting for a Response
Assuming you have executed proper service, your spouse will then have thirty days to respond to your petition. To this end, their options are:
True Default—do nothing, by not engaging or responding to your petition at all;
Uncontested Divorce—do nothing, because you already have a written, notarized agreement outlining your terms;
Respond in Agreement—file a response with the court, confirming agreement with your proposed terms; or,
Respond in Disagreement—file a response with the court contesting your proposed terms.
It is almost never a good idea to allow your case to default—even if you do not want the divorce to happen. Refusing to engage will not stall out proceedings. Instead, the court will simply grant the divorce as though you had agreed to all the terms.
Needless to say, this is almost never in your best interest.
During this thirty-day period, you and your spouse are also free to work out a settlement—either between yourselves, or through mediation. If successful, you can submit a marital settlement agreement with the court, which will then become your official divorce order.
When Issues Can’t Be Resolved
Those who are unable to reach an agreement must engage in litigation.
Divorce litigation is a traditional court trial, where both sides are represented by an attorney, evidence is presented, and the issues are decided by a judge. Litigation is by far the most expensive, time-consuming, and least flexible way to secure a divorce. So it’s usually a good idea to at least try to settle, before proceeding to trial.
Single Status
If you are planning to remarry after your divorce, keep in mind that in California, you are not considered to have reached “single status” until six months and one day from the time of service.
If your divorce has not been finalized within this time, you can file a Single Status Affidavit with the court, which will allow you to proceed, in lieu of a final judgment.
Naturally, you are not automatically divorced, just because six months have passed. In all cases, you will still need to either resolve issues amicably with your spouse, or through the court.
Divorce Lawyers in California
Divorce isn’t simple, which is why so many people choose to hire personal representation. Armed with education and experience, an attorney can guide you around major pitfalls, handle tedious paperwork, and ensure your best interests are being protected at all times. Freeing up your mental energy, so that you can channel it where it’s needed most: your family.
If you have more questions about Divorce in California, and how this process might apply to your situation, we want to hear from you. Call us at (209) 989-4425, or get in touch online, and let the team at Maples Family Law help make this process a little easier for you.
If you’re ready to end your marriage, you’re probably wondering how to file for divorce. The process can be daunting, and with so many different ways to secure a split, it can be tough to know where to start.
Luckily, it’s not a process you have to do alone.
Here’s everything you need to know about how to file for divorce in California, and how the team at Maples Family Law can help you.
How to File for Divorce: The Process
The first think you need to know about filing for divorce in California, is that you live in a no-fault divorce state. This means that—unlike in days gone by—you don’t have to assign blame in order to break up your marriage. Furthermore, neither spouse needs to secure the permission of the other. The only requirement is irreconcilable differences.
This is a massive simplification of a process that used to turn divorce court into a circus of false accusations and perjury. In lieu of these archaic notions, couples can now obtain a divorce without subjecting themselves (or their children) to a needlessly contentious environment, creating a much healthier transition, overall.
So, now that you know fault isn’t a requirement, here are the next steps to take when filing for divorce in California.
1. Talk to an Attorney
For most people, it just makes sense to work with a lawyer. Whether you’ve been married a long time or just a little while, there aren’t very many divorce scenarios where a couple is better off by not hiring personal representation.
This is because divorce law is complicated, and on your own, it’s too easy to make mistakes and give up essential rights. Some of which can be extremely expensive—if not impossible—to reverse.
An experienced attorney can help you avoid these potential pitfalls, and guide you through complex issues like child custody, spousal support, and property division without mishap, making their services well worth added hourly expense.
In general, you should only forgo representation if you have no significant assets or debt, and don’t have children. Even then, it’s still wise to have an attorney review your uncontested divorce agreement before filing.
2. Check Residency Requirements
Whether or not you choose to hire an attorney, you will still need to meet both state and county residency requirements in order to file for divorce.
In California, you must have lived in the state for at least six months. Residents of San Joaquin County will also need to have lived there for at least three.
3. Determine Which Type of Divorce Will Work Best for You
As we mentioned above, there isn’t just one way to divorce. Indeed, contrary to what Hollywood might have you believe, a high stakes court trial isn’t the only want to secure a split. Indeed, not only can you dissolve a marriage outside of court, but it’s almost always preferable to litigation.
For those who aren’t quite ready for the permanence of a full-on divorce, California also allows couples to negotiate a legally-binding agreement through legal separation.
The method that’s best for you will depend on a number of individualized factors. Some of these might be whether or not you have children, how amicable your breakup is, the amount of property and debt you have, and whether or not you have a valid prenuptial agreement.
If you aren’t sure, a Maples Family Law attorney can help you determine which might be best for your situation.
This is where having an attorney will come in handy. A lawyer will not only make sure you have the correct forms, but also that they are filled out accurately, ensuring your divorce process isn’t held up by faulty paperwork. Your attorney will also file these documents with the county clerk on your behalf, freeing up your mental energy for more important things.
If submitting paperwork on your own, keep in mind that you will be responsible for paying for any filing fees associated with these documents.
Once tendered, the county clerk will give you (or your attorney) copies of all your forms with a stamp that says “Filed.” In addition to whatever your attorney keeps, make sure to always retain copies for your own personal record, as well.
5. Ensure Proper Service
From filing, it’s then time to tell your spouse you’ve started the legal process. Forget texts, phone calls, and snapchat, though, because telling your spouse you’ve just filed for divorce requires a little more formality than a simple Facebook message.
In California, proper service requires someone to deliver physical copies of all divorce paperwork to your spouse, usually in person, face to face (though, there are some limited exceptions). As a party to the case, you cannot be the one to deliver the paperwork, however the qualifications are pretty open, and there’s usually no need to hire a professional process server.
A qualified server must:
Be over eighteen;
Not a party to the case;
Serve paperwork within the proper time frame;
Fill out a proof of service form; and,
Return the proof of service form to you, so that you (or your attorney) can file it with the court.
This step is essential. Without proper service, the court could potentially dismiss your whole case (another point for team “Just Hire an Attorney, Already”).
What Happens After Service
What comes after these five steps really depends how your spouse responds to your petition. For partners who are capable of constructive communication, a few sessions of out-of-court mediation is probably all that’s needed to iron out important issues. In contrast, couples with bad feelings, strongly opposing views, or vast amounts of property or marital debt might not be able to settle without a trial.
No matter what the emotional environment of your divorce is, however, once your petition has been properly filed and served, your spouse will have thirty days to respond. And—we should note—this isn’t really a deadline you want to be messing with.
Failure to Respond
Just like the state of California can’t keep you married if you don’t want to be, neither can your spouse, and failure to respond to properly served divorce paperwork won’t stall out the proceedings. Instead, it will just put your spouse in danger of defaulting.
In a default divorce, the court essentially treats your petition like an uncontested divorce, and proceeds as if your spouse had agreed to all the terms. Which is great, if you’re the petitioner, but not so much if you’re on the other end.
Hence, if you’re thinking about trying to stay married by not responding to service, think again. This tactic won’t work, and it most certainly is not in your best interest.
Temporary Orders
If you are worried about retaliation from your spouse during this thirty-day waiting period, talk to your attorney. If necessary, they can petition the court for a temporary order.
This type of order can be tailored to your situation. It can both prohibit your spouse from committing certain behavior, and set down guidelines to govern things like childcare, bills, and spousal support. Protecting you, your children, and your assets while your divorce is pending.
Do You Need to Talk to a Lawyer About How to File for Divorce?
If you are getting a divorce, give yourself a break, and let an attorney handle the stress of paperwork, processing, and deadlines. Not only can they relieve you of this stress, but an experienced family law attorney can also refer you to a therapist, offer valuable, case-specific legal advice, and much more.
For more questions about how to file for divorce in California, call us at (209) 989-4425 or contact us online, and let the team at Maples Family Law help guide you through this complex transition as smoothly as possible.
How long does it take to get a divorce in California?
For most people, it takes at least 6 months to get a divorce in California. It can take longer, but usually, that depends on how the parties involved choose to resolve issues.
Anyone can get a divorce in California. You don’t need a reason (other than having “irreconcilable differences,” which means you and your spouse or domestic partner no longer get along), and you can even divorce if your spouse or domestic partner doesn’t want to. Under California law, nobody’s “at-fault” for the divorce – this is a no-fault divorce state.
The 6-Month Waiting Period for Divorce in California
You have to wait 6 months from the date that the person who filed notifies the other party before a court will grant your divorce. For example, if you file the paperwork on the 1st of the month and officially notify your spouse on the 5th of the month, you must wait 6 months from the 5th of the month because that’s the day you notified your spouse.
Use the table below to determine the earliest date the court can grant your divorce.
Notification Month
Earliest the Court Can Grant Your Divorce
January
July of this year
February
August of this year
March
September of this year
April
October of this year
May
November of this year
June
December of this year
July
January of next year
August
February of next year
September
March of next year
October
April of next year
November
May of next year
December
June of next year
Remember, though, that this table only shows you the earliest date the court can grant your divorce. If you and your spouse haven’t agreed on all the major issues by then, like child custody and property division, your divorce will take longer.
How Long Does it Take to Get a Divorce in California if Both Parties Agree?
If you and your spouse can reach agreements on your own, before you file or during the 6-month waiting period, the court should be able to grant your divorce as soon as the waiting period is over. Your attorney will work with you during the waiting period to get all your paperwork turned in to the court and get your divorce judgment approved (provided the judge in your case finds that it’s fair to everyone involved).
If you and your spouse don’t agree to the terms of your divorce before the 6-month waiting period is over, your case will hang in the balance until you do reach a settlement. Your attorney will help you negotiate with your spouse – and she may recommend that you use mediation as a way of settling your differences. In some cases, the courts actually order couples to go to mediation rather than fighting things out in court (which is time-consuming and expensive).
Mediation: The Basics
How long your divorce takes depends on whether you agree, and you may be able to speed things up through mediation. You and your soon-to-be ex-spouse will visit a mediator who will strive to get you on common ground within just a day (although sometimes it does take longer). Mediation isn’t for everyone, though, so talk to your attorney about your options if you don’t think it’s the right choice for you.
How Long Does it Take to Get a Divorce in California?
The least amount of time it can take to get a divorce in California is 6 months. Some cases take longer because the spouses can’t agree – but we may be able to help you. If you’re thinking about filing for divorce, or if your spouse has already filed and you need to react, call us at (209) 546-6870 or get in touch with us online to schedule a consultation. You can also click “Let’s Start” below and fill out our contact form to get a call or an email back.
In the state of California, there are several “types” of divorce – but they all lead to one thing: the dissolution of your marriage. The types of divorce people discuss usually refer to the process that leads to the divorce decree.
Types of Divorce in California
When people talk about the different types of divorce, they’re generally referring to things like:
Fault-based and no-fault divorce
Uncontested divorce
Contested divorce
Collaborative divorce
Let’s take a deeper look at each of these types of divorce.
Fault-Based and No-Fault Divorce
California is a no-fault divorce state, which means you don’t have to prove that one party or the other did something wrong in order to end your marriage. Instead, you simply have to tell the court that you and your spouse can no longer remain married because you have irreconcilable differences.
A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that a spouse’s mess-up – like infidelity, for example – will have an impact on the outcome of the divorce. However, that’s not true. Cheating won’t affect the way the courts decide to divide your property or anything else, except in very rare circumstances (such as if your spouse spent all your family’s money on his or her fling, or if your spouse engaged in sexual acts in front of your children).
An uncontested divorce is one in which both parties are able to agree to all – or at least most – of the major issues involved. That includes things like:
Sometimes couples are able to agree to these things through mediation (which can be part of a collaborative divorce, as well), but sometimes they go back-and-forth without assistance and reach agreements on all the major issues on their own.
In an uncontested divorce, when both spouses agree on big issues, the judge will generally sign off on the couple’s arrangement – as long as it’s fair to both parties and the children involved. If it’s not fair to everyone (at least reasonably fair, that is), the judge isn’t going to agree and will most likely tell the parties to reach a new agreement or make decisions for the couple.
A contested divorce is one in which the parties can’t reach agreements on the important issues. For example, if a couple is fine with dividing property but can’t agree on who gets the kids and when, the custody part of the divorce is contested.
It’s almost always better for couples to reach these important decisions on their own. If you and your spouse can’t agree, you’ll end up forcing the judge to decide – and usually, that happens after spending a lot of time in court (and a lot of money on lawyer’s fees). Litigating is typically more stressful than dealing with your spouse for a limited amount of time, too.
However, there are some cases in which it’s absolutely necessary to litigate. When one spouse is completely uncooperative and won’t budge (and won’t work with a mediator), for example, you don’t have a choice. In that case, you need an exceptionally tough Stockton divorce attorney in your corner.
Collaborative Divorce
Collaborative divorce, while it’s not right for everyone, is the type of divorce that leaves both parties feeling reasonably satisfied with the outcome. In a collaborative divorce, the two spouses agree to work together to find solutions for all the major issues. Sometimes they work with mediators, and sometimes they don’t – but the bottom line is that a collaborative divorce requires input and a lot of give-and-take from both parties.
Do You Need to Learn More About These Types of Divorce?
If you’re in Stockton and you’re considering divorce – or if your spouse has already filed for divorce – we may be able to help you.
Call us right now at (209) 546-6870 to schedule a consultation with divorce attorney Anna Maples. We’ll answer your questions about child custody, child support and other matters, as well as refer you to local professionals if you need help that we can’t provide, such as divorce counseling or asset management.
If you’re like many people considering divorce in Stockton, you probably have more than a few questions about the process – and you’ve probably already heard terms like contested divorce, child custody and spousal support.
But what is a contested divorce, and are you on-track to have one?
What is a Contested Divorce?
There are two types of divorces: contested and uncontested. The two are exact opposites of each other, but there is often some overlap between the two.
A contested divorce is one where the two parties don’t agree on important issues, such as how to divide debts in the divorce, child custody and other things. In an uncontested divorce, the parties agree on most of the major issues and can move forward – all they need is for the judge to sign the decree.
How Many Divorces Are Contested?
Many couples start with a contested divorce but end up reaching mutual agreements by the time they ask the judge to end the marriage. Seeing eye-to-eye is incredibly tough during a divorce, and in the beginning, a lot of people aren’t willing to compromise.
However, in most cases, one or both of the spouses’ lawyers urges them to reach agreements on their own. That’s because when two people reach a mutual agreement, it’s a lot easier for both to be satisfied with the eventual outcome – and because divorces that require a judge’s intervention are messy, time-consuming and expensive. There’s often “collateral damage” in a long, drawn-out divorce, too, and it can have a negative impact on children.
Most lawyers want you and your spouse to reach agreements together. In fact, your attorney might suggest that one or both of you sees a divorce therapist or that you hire a mediator. Even couples that don’t end up hiring a mediator typically reach agreements with their spouses – it just takes a little longer.
Those who don’t end up reaching agreements (either on their own or through a mediator and lawyers) have to wait on a judge’s ruling. The problem with that is that many people leave the courtroom feeling as if the judge came up with an unfair ruling – even if it’s close to what they wanted in the first place. Another issue: it takes time to find an open slot on the court’s calendar, and one court hearing can lead to another… and another.
While there are many cases that absolutely require litigation, not all of them do. Your attorney will most likely recommend that you work things out on your own or with a mediator’s help before she suggests taking everything straight to the judge in your case.
What Happens in a Contested Divorce?
In a contested divorce, there’s a specific timeline of what needs to happen:
Talking to your attorney. You’ll have to explain the situation, what you want and what you expect to get out of the dissolution of your marriage. (You’ll have to do this whether or not you and your spouse agree on major issues.)
Serving the divorce petition. Your spouse will receive the petition for divorce and has a chance to respond.
This is the part of the process where spouses can get the information they need from each other about assets, income, child custody and other issues that are relevant to the case.
You and your spouse must negotiate your way through the divorce – and if you can’t, the judge might order mediation or tell you to come back to provide more information and allow the judge to rule. (You’ll go back to the discovery phase until you have agreed or the judge has made all the necessary decisions.)
Once all the details are hammered out – either between the two spouses or because the judge has issued rulings – the judge will finalize your divorce case.
Do You Need to Talk to a Lawyer About Getting a Divorce in Stockton?
Call us at 209-910-9865 or get in touch with a Stockton divorce attorney online to schedule a consultation today. We’ll discuss your case, find out about your circumstances and start formulating a plan that gets you (and your children) the best possible outcome.
If you’re like many people, you’ve heard of divorce mediation—but what is it, and would it be the right choice for you and your spouse?
What is Divorce Mediation?
Divorce mediation is a way for you and your spouse to come together and decide the outcome of your divorce. It includes hiring a mediator—a neutral third party to your case—whose only interest is helping you two find common ground.
The mediator will meet with you and your spouse to help you resolve issues you’ve been unable to resolve on your own. He or she won’t make the decisions for you (unlike the judge, who will make decisions for you if you can’t reach an agreement). Instead, your mediator will help you and your spouse determine the best possible outcome.
Why Some People Choose Mediation
When two spouses cannot agree on an issue—say, child custody—the judge will make a decision for them.
While judges do their best to be as fair and impartial as possible, the fact is that no judge knows your family the way that you and your spouse do. Your judge doesn’t know the special circumstances you have or whether you and your spouse are willing to compromise in some areas.
Unfortunately, when the judge decides an important issue like custody, one or both parties is likely to come away feeling as if they lost the fight.
However, people who participate in mediation work together to come up with a solution that’s best for the whole family—and studies have shown that mediation allows those people to come away feeling as if they (and, more importantly, their children) have won instead.
The Bottom Line on Mediation
Many people choose mediation because they really don’t want the judge to make important decisions for them, but at the same time, they’re unable to agree with each other.
Mediation is also less expensive than a court trial or a series of hearings is, and for the most part, most mediations end in a successful divorce where both parties are reasonably satisfied with the outcome.
How Does Divorce Mediation Work?
Mediation is confidential, and it relies on your (and your spouse’s) ideas to come up with resolutions to the issues you’re experiencing. Your lawyer will still be there to guide you and protect your rights, though, and you and your spouse are in complete control of the process.
Every mediator has his or her own approach, but generally, mediations follow similar processes. Your mediator will get background information from you and your spouse, and then you’ll both attend a meeting with the mediator. He or she will explain the “rules of the road” and tell you what you can expect from the process. You may also be asked to sign a form that says you promise to keep what’s said to yourself—and that you understand that the mediator won’t disclose the private details of your meetings in court later.
Do You Have to See Your Spouse for Mediation?
Sometimes you and your spouse will be negotiating across a table; sometimes the mediator will go back and forth between separate rooms to help you negotiate. You can always tell your mediator whether you’re comfortable being in the same room with your spouse (or if you’re not); the point is that your mediator wants to help you find common ground, and he or she will use the appropriate tactics to get you there.
Can Your Lawyer Go to Mediation With You?
If you want your Stockton divorce attorney to attend a mediation with you, talk to your mediator (and your lawyer). In many cases, these meetings don’t involve lawyers—but typically, they can if you feel it’s necessary.
Do You Need to Talk to a Divorce Lawyer in Stockton?
Call us at 209-910-9865 for a divorce case evaluation. You’ll talk to an experienced Stockton divorce lawyer who can give you the advice you need to begin moving forward.
A contested divorce—one in which the two spouses can’t reach an agreement on something—isn’t as uncommon as you think, whether you’re in Stockton or a neighboring community.
In fact, many couples have a tough time seeing eye-to-eye during the divorce process. While many contested divorces do end up becoming collaborative divorces, many people end up litigating and letting their judge make the final decisions on matters such as child custody, spousal support, and other issues.
But what is the definition of contested divorce, and what should you do if you’re headed for one?
Contested Divorce: The Definition
A contested divorce is one in which the two parties can’t reach an agreement on one or more issues. (Contrary to popular belief, a contested divorce doesn’t take place when one party doesn’t want the divorce. In the state of California, you can get a divorce without both parties agreeing to it.)
Why Should You Try to Work With Your Spouse?
Any Stockton divorce lawyer can tell you that litigation can be costly—and it can be time-consuming, too. Dragging out your divorce process doesn’t really benefit anyone (including your children, if you have them), which means it’s best to settle as quickly and as fairly as possible.
When you and your spouse can agree on some issues, you’re off to a good start. The more you can agree on during the divorce process, the faster the process will move; each issue you agree to is one less for your attorneys to argue over in court or for the judge to decide.
While judges do their best to remain fair and impartial, the fact is that nobody knows your family—or what’s right for your family—as well as you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse do. You’ll be able to make a better, more fair decision than the judge will because you know all your family’s needs, quirks, and desires; the judge only knows you through what he or she has seen on paper from your attorneys.
What Happens if You’re Part of a Contested Divorce?
If you and your spouse ultimately cannot agree on one or more issues, you’re part of a contested divorce. The issues you can’t resolve will go to trial, and sometimes one issue stands apart from the rest and has its own trial.
The court will issue a final judgment on the matter, whether it’s child custody, the validity of a prenuptial agreement, or something else, and at that point, it becomes a legally binding order. That means you have to abide by what the judge rules, even if you’re not happy with it or it doesn’t work out in your favor.
You can, eventually, go back and petition the court to revisit its decision. However, that’s not always successful… and you’ll have to go through the entire legal process again (typically paying attorney’s fees along the way).
Ultimately, it’s better if you and your spouse can reach as many agreements as possible before you end up in a Stockton divorce court.
Do You Need to Talk to a Stockton Attorney About a Contested Divorce?
If you need to talk to a lawyer for case-specific legal advice about your divorce, whether or not it’s contested, we’re here to help.
Call us at 209-910-9865 to speak with a Stockton divorce attorney right now. We’ll evaluate your case and give you the advice you need to begin moving forward.
However, a collaborative divorce can make things easier on you, your soon-to-be ex-spouse, and your children.
What is Collaborative Divorce?
The term collaborative divorce refers to the process of resolving your differences together rather than fighting things out in court. It involves negotiation (and sometimes mediation) so that both parties can walk away from the marriage knowing that they’ve solved the issues on their own, without forcing a judge to make decisions for them.
Collaborative divorce isn’t the right answer for everyone, though. In order for it to work, both spouses need to be willing to participate. Both spouses also have to recognize that divorce is a negotiation process and be willing to set aside their emotions and deal only in facts.
Who Shouldn’t Use Collaborative Divorce?
Typically, a collaborative divorce is not right for marriages that involved physical or emotional abuse, child abuse, or dishonesty about income and assets. It’s not often a good idea for spouses who are alienating children from one (or both) parents, either.
Are There Benefits to Collaborative Divorce?
There are several benefits to collaborative divorce for those who are able to use it. In addition to making things easier on you, your ex, and your kids, a collaborative divorce:
Saves money. You don’t have to pay attorneys to “duke it out” in court over the things you can negotiate yourselves.
Saves time. Litigation (fighting in court) is time-consuming. You have to wait for a space to open up on the court’s calendar, and you have to solve disputes one at a time on the court’s schedule.
Takes place in an informal setting. You aren’t in the courtroom, missing work and using up vacation days, when you’re collaborating on your divorce.
Lets you maintain control over the situation. You’ll have to share that control with your ex, because collaborative divorce does involve give-and-take, but ultimately, the way you solve disputes with your ex is up to you two.
Allows you to negotiate a divorce settlement that works best for your family. When you don’t cooperate with your ex, the judge in your case will have to make final decisions for you—and while judges are fair and impartial, they don’t know what makes your family “tick.” That means a judge’s decisions may not be the best fit for you, your ex, or your kids.
What Happens if You and Your Ex Both Want a Collaborative Divorce?
If you and your ex can agree that a collaborative divorce is best, the first step is talking to a Stockton family law attorney who understands negotiation, mediation, and your desire to make your divorce as easy as possible.
You’ll meet with your lawyer to explain what it is you want from the divorce, and he or she will help you identify where you’re willing to compromise. You and your ex can reach agreements on your own, or you can bring in a professional mediator who can help.
You and your soon-to-be ex-spouse can collaborate to decide:
Ultimately, the best part of collaborating with your ex is that when you do finally go to court (the judge still has to issue a divorce decree that officially dissolves your marriage) you can file an uncontested divorce.
Do You Need to Talk to a Stockton Divorce Lawyer?
If you’re ending your marriage and need to talk to a divorce lawyer in Stockton, we can help. Call us at 209-910-9865 to tell us what’s going on. We’ll evaluate your case and start building a strategy that gets you—and your family—the best possible outcome.
California is a no-fault divorce state, which means that neither spouse has to prove that there was any misconduct on the part of the other.The only requirement for a no-fault divorce is that the couple state that they cannot get along. This is referred to in the courts as “irreconcilable differences.”
However, just because the divorce is based on irreconcilable differences doesn’t necessarily mean that the divorcing couple disagrees on how to divide the assets. When a couple can agree on how to divide all of their assets, the divorce is considered an “uncontested” divorce. When they disagree on any part of the division of assets, then the divorce is considered a “contested” divorce. However, the level and type of disagreement in a contested divorce can range from minor disagreements in a few areas to disagreement in every area. Each type of divorce presents different considerations and even couples who fully agree on most things might not be suited for an uncontested divorce. Likewise, couples who disagree on everything may still be candidates for an uncontested divorce.
Uncontested Divorce
In an uncontested divorce, the couple usually agrees on how to divide their marital property and provide for their children. An amicable and uncontested divorce is generally the simplest, easiest, and most cost effective form of divorce available. However, it’s important to keep in mind that divorce proceedings can be complex legal issues in even the most uncomplicated of marriages. An uncontested divorce settlement involves a lot of intricate components including the income of the couple, the source of that income, whether children are involved, the length of the marriage, and whether there is any animosity between the couple.Even if you and your spouse can agree on everything, an uncontested divorce may still not be in your best interest.
Who is a Good Candidate for an Uncontested Divorce?
Couples with little to no assets and no children;
Couples who agree on how to divide their assets, who will have physical custody of the children, who will have legal custody of the children, and how much, if any, child and/or spousal support should be provided.
Who is Not a Good Candidate for an Uncontested Divorce?
Marriages with physical or emotional abuse;
Marriages where child abuse is/was present;
When one spouse is, or is suspected of, hiding income and/or assets;
When one or both spouses are engaged in attempting to alienate the affections of the children;
In marriages with these types of issues, there is a very real possibility that the offending spouse may try to manipulate the other into an agreement that is more beneficial to them and it is not uncommon for the victim spouse to agree to an arrangement just to get out of the situation. While getting out of a bad situation is important, it is also important that you are legally protected when you do so. In these types of cases, it is extremely important that you have a neutral party available to give you sound legal advice and ensure that your interests are fully protected.
How Long Does an Uncontested Divorce Take in California?
How long does it take to get a divorce in California if both parties agree? Typically, it takes about 6 months. There’s a 6-month waiting period for anyone, whether the divorce is uncontested or contested, so you can’t get divorced any sooner than that.
Can I Get a Divorce in One Day?
You can’t get a divorce in one day in California. Once you’ve been through the mandatory 6-month waiting period, it’s possible that a judge could grant your divorce the next day – but even that could only happen if you and your spouse have an uncontested divorce and you agree on everything.
There is one small catch: If you and your spouse haven’t settled all the issues in your divorce but want to be divorced as quickly as possible, you can ask the court for a bifurcated divorce. That means the judge grants your divorce but lets you continue to work on some of the issues after the fact. This is the only way to expedite divorce in California.
How Do I File an Uncontested Divorce in California?
For most people, even if a divorce is uncontested, it’s a good idea to work with an attorney. The paperwork can be complicated, and if you end up having to go to court, you may want an experienced lawyer in your corner. However, if you choose to file an uncontested divorce in California on your own, you’ll have to:
Fill out the appropriate court forms
Make at least two copies of everything
Have your forms reviewed, if you’d like, by an attorney
File your forms with the right court clerk
Serve your papers on your soon-to-be ex-spouse
File a Proof of Service
Because the steps can also be confusing – and because you may want to ensure that your spouse isn’t trying to take advantage of you – you may want to consult with a lawyer about your options before you file.
Do I Need a Lawyer for an Uncontested Divorce?
Not necessarily. However, a divorce, under even the best of circumstances, can be difficult and complicated. Spouses who agree on most things may find a few issues that are sticking points or may find that as the process continues, the lines of communication begin to shut down.In addition, there may be areas in your divorce that need to be addressed that neither you nor your spouse had considered. Hiring an attorney can help you resolve issues that you are having a difficult time agreeing on and also bring your attention to areas about the division of assets and child and spousal support that you may not be aware of.
What if I Can’t Afford to Hire an Attorney?
If you can’t afford to hire an attorney, you can proceed pro se. A pro se divorce is a divorce that is initiated without the aid and advice of an attorney. This method is best suited for couples who have reached an agreement regarding all of the terms of their divorce. However, proceeding pro se is not recommended for couples who can’t come to an agreement as to how to divide their assets.
Additionally, proceeding pro se is not recommended for people who have experienced domestic violence or psychological harassment during their marriage. There is the very real possibility that the unequal dynamics of the marriage will reemerge in the divorce process, which could put one partner at a disadvantage in the divorce settlement. If you have suffered abuse during your relationship, it is in your best interest to seek legal advice from a qualified individual.
If you are short on funds, but need legal counsel, many attorneys offer limited scope representation. Limited scope representation allows you to hire an attorney to help you with just the areas where you need assistance rather than the entire divorce proceeding.
Can You File for Divorce Online in California?
You or your attorney must file physical paperwork in court. There’s no way to file online (although your attorney can send you paperwork through email).
Contested Divorce
A heavily contested divorce is the most difficult type of divorce. The relations between spouses can and do get volatile and disagreements can be compounded, extending the length of time the divorce proceeding lasts. Areas of disagreement can range from full disagreement on everything to minimal disagreement on some things. The more the couple disagrees, the more difficult it can be to come to an agreement about how to distribute the marital property and child rearing duties. In these types of divorces, it is imperative that you have a knowledgeable attorney available to ensure that your divorce settlement is fair and accurately represents your wishes.
Areas to Consider Before Deciding Which Type of Divorce is Right for You
Some of the major issues you and your spouse need to consider prior to initiating the divorce proceedings are:
California law favors joint physical and legal custody of children. (Physical custody concerns where the child will live while legal custody concerns who will make basic legal decisions for the child regarding the child’s healthcare, schooling, and other day to day activities.) How you and your spouse decide to divide your children’s time and expenses is generally up to you, the division does not have to be 50/50. However, the arrangement should be made in such a way that it preserves the child’s relationship both of his or her parents.
Some things to keep in mind when determining custody arrangements include:
The best method and arrangement to maintain the child’s relationship with each parent;
Each parent’s work schedule;
How to divide holiday schedules, birthdays and school vacations;
The physical and mental needs of the child;
Child Support
California courts determine how much child support needs to be paid according to specific guidelines. As a general rule, California bases child support payments on:
Amount of time spent with the child
The amount of money the parents earn
The number of children,
The tax filing status of each parent,
Health insurance expenses,
Daycare and uninsured health-care costs.
Any special needs of the children.
The guidelines present the minimum amount of basic care that parents must pay. However, parents may choose to pay an amount higher than that suggested by the court.
California is a community property state. In a community property state, all assets that a couple earns during the marriage, that are not considered separate property, are to be divided equally.
Assets you should consider are:
Any real estate you and your spouse own together;
Any real estate that was purchased in one spouse’s name using money from the marriage (this includes using any money earned through work that was done during the marriage);
Any income from an employer, including any benefits the employer offers (401(k)s, pensions, other perks that are part of an incentive package);
Income from self-employment;
Any stocks, bonds or other investments;
Any personal property, such as cars, jewelry, art objects;
Any retirement accounts or investment accounts;
Money earned from gambling, the lottery or other similar activities.
What exactly constitutes marital property and what constitutes separate property can be extremely difficult to determine. In many cases, property that was held by one spouse only may still be community property depending on how and when it was purchased. This is true even for property you are unaware of. If you and your spouse have a lot of assets, then it is in your best interest to seek legal advice prior to entering into any divorce agreements.
Just like assets, all debts incurred during the marriage are considered community property. This means that both parties are responsible for repaying the debt. This includes mortgages, credit cards, student loans, car loans, etc. Even debt that your spouse incurred without your knowledge may be considered community property and you may be equally liable.
